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Cataloged in Funny / Puns

25 Bread Puns That Are Hilarious (And Not At All Crumby)

Bready or not, here they come! Bread puns, for your entertainment. If you have any bread puns to add to this list, please comment.

Guess what? There’s no such thing as a crumby bread pun. This hilarious list of bread puns will make you lol again and again. It will also make you hungry for bread, because bread is as delicious as it is funny. Read on, dear bread loving friend. Read on!

1. What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?

You deserve butter.

2. What’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?

The upper crust.

3. ow do you spot a radical baker?

They’re always going against the grain.

4. What did the banker want from the baker?

To pump her nickels.

5. Why was the loaf of bread upset?

His plan were always going a rye.

6. Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?

He told her she was being too kneady.

7. Why did the baker file a sexual harassment claim?

People kept commenting on his hot buns.

8. What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?

You’re toast!

9. Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?

To get a rise out of him!

10. Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?

She thought it was crumby.

11. Why was the bread actor so unhappy?

She lost out on a juicy roll.

12. What did one bread lover say to the other?

Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.

13. What did the toast say to the psychic?

You bread my mind!

14. What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?

It’s the yeast I could do.

15. What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?

Bready or not, here I crumb!

16. How does bread win over friends?

“You can crust me.”

17. Why does bread hate hot weather?

It just feels too toasty.

19. How does bread woo a lover?

With lots of flours.

20. Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?

It’s just too grainy.

21. What did mama bread say to her kids?

It’s way past your breadtime!

22. How do you get a raise at the bread factory?

Butter up your boss.

23. How do you make dog bread?

Just use collie flour.

24. Why did the aging bread roll retire?

Her career was already toast.

25. What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?

It tends to get stale. TC mark