Maybe you have a fish tank in your home. Maybe you go fishing every summer. Or maybe the closest you have come to swimming through the ocean was when you played Go Fish as a child. No matter what your relationship to those undersea critters is, here are the best fish puns that will leave you gasping for breath.
Funny fish puns everyone will find hilarious:
Here is a list of fish puns and fish jokes that will have everyone laughing out loud:
1. Why did the fish get bad grades?
Because it was below sea level.
2. Where do sick fish go?
To see a sturgeon.
3. Why wouldn’t the little girl eat her sushi?
Because she thought it looked too fishy.
4. What are fish that act in movies called?
5. What do fish learn on their first day of school?
That the end of a fishing hook is the point of no return.
6. How does a school of fish keep up on happenings in the ocean?
They listen to the current news.
7. Why did the old lady make a ton of fish-eye soup?
Because it would see her through the week.
8. Most fish will tell you that they like their food cold…
And their bait a little worm.
9. What does the Loch Ness Monster eat?
10. How do you tuna fish?
Adjust their scales.
11. That fisherman will never make it as a boxer.
All he can throw are hooks.
12. How do you communicate with a fish you haven’t seen in ages?
Drop them a line.
13. What do you call a fish who doesn’t believe in war?
14. What did the shark’s friends tell her when she got dumped?
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
15. Have you ever met a shy fish?
They are very koi.
16. Why did the teenage fish get in trouble in class?
Because he was talking on his shell phone.
17. Why did the fish live at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of school.
18. Who was the standout musician in the fish band?
The bass player.
19. Why did the chef quit his job at the diner?
Because he had bigger fish to fry.
20. Who was the best employee at the balloon factory?
The blow fish.
21. The fish had a girlfriend, but he lobster.
Then he flounder.
22. Did you hear about the chef in that extremely busy seafood restaurant?
He had a lox on his plate.
23. If you can think of a better fish pun…
24. Some people don’t like fish puns
But they are kraken me up.
25. Where is a fish in orbit?
26. Why was the fish given detention?
Because he was being too shellfish.
27. Did you hear about the newlywed shark couple?
They are swimming along nicely.
28. Never date a fisherman.
They will only string you along.
29. That big mouth bass got caught by a fisherman.
Now he is in a real boatload of trouble.
30. Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman?
He was lost at C.
31. I don’t always make fish puns.
But when I do, I do it just for the halibut.
32. Did you try out that new seafood restaurant?
33. What do you tell a fish when it’s overreacting?
You need to clam down.
34. What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
35. I’ve been telling too many fish puns.
I think I’ll scale back.
36. My school performed a play about fishing.
It was a huge hit because it had quite an amazing cast.
37. What is written on fish currency?
In cod we trust.
38. What made the octopus laugh?
39. Why is seafood healthy?
It’s really good for the mussels.
40. Why should you never fight an octopus?
They are well armed.
41. What is the most expensive fish?
42. What are fish that engage in organized crime called?
43. What is a fish’s favorite television show?
Tuna Half Men.
44. What is a fish’s favorite song?
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you drown.
45. Create your own fish pun.
Don’t leave it to salmon else.
46. When was the fish free?
Any day barramundi.
47. The man stranded on the island discovered something to start catching fish.
It was definitely a net-gain.
48. What did the employee say to his boss?
Yes, I will dolphinitely have those reports with you by the end of the day.
49. What did the boss say to his employee?
Cod I borrow you for five minutes?
50. This is the best list of puns ever!
Not even squidding!
Some more quick, clever fish puns:
Here are some more funny fish puns to tell your family and friends:
- Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can’t walk.
- What did the fish say to his girlfriend? Your plaice or mine?
- What kind of fish go to heaven? Angelfish.
- What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout? A monkfish!
- My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because his net income wasn’t enough.
- Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
- Did you hear about the fight in the kitchen? A fish got battered.
- Why did the optometrist make tons of fish-eye soup? Because it helps him see through the week.
- What happens when you mix a fish and a banker? You get a loan shark
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a fish? One is a scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish.
- Do you know Nemo? He has always been my arch nemo sis.
- What happens when you mix salmon and Nutella together? You get salmonella.
- Why aren’t DJs allowed to work at fish markets? Because they’re always dropping the bass.
- What party game do fish like to play? Salmon Says.
- What game do fish like playing the most? Name that tuna!
- What TV shows do young fish like? Cartunas
- What was the Russia Tsar’s favorite type of fish? Tsardines!
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles.
- What type of fish is the most famous serial killer? Jack the Kipper
- What do smart fish say? Keep your friends close and your anemonies closer.
- It looks like we’re Piranha roll. It doesn’t get any Betta than this.
One liner fish jokes and fish puns:
These funny fish jokes and fish puns can be inserted into any conversation:
- If you keep pestering me I’m going to get a haddock.
- Well I think you’re just fintastic.
- That seems a bit fishy to me.
- Let minnow if you have any suggestions.
- Some people don’t like fish puns, but these are kraken me up!
- Have you thought of the solution yet or do you need some time to mullet over?
- That scientist is gilliant!
- I will love you for a krill-ion years.
- I wouldn’t be cod dead wearing that.
- Stop spreading those fishcious rumors.
- Who will be the sole survivor?
- What a load of pollocks!
- Stop being so koi about it.
- We whaley need to turn this car around.
- Never trust unlicensed puns – always check to see if they’re ofishal.
- They have very sofishticated taste.
- I can feel that in my sole.
- I’ve haddock with these shenanigans!
- The way they handled that is a-trout-cious.
- I’ll bait that fish can’t swim on for much longer!
- This is neither the time nor the plaice to deal with this.
- Don’t try to gillt trip me I know exactly what you’re doing.
- Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
- Carp-e diem!
- It looks like we’re piranha roll now!
- I see you’ve met my nemo-sis.
- Cod you pass me the pepper?
- Dear Cod, I laughed so hard!
- Oh what a load of carp.
- Well salmon had to say it!
- We’re just hoping to avoid turtle disaster at this point.
- You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to figure it out.
- They always want to mussel in on what everyone else is doing.
- Holy carp we’re only halfway through the week.
- You should make him walk the plankton for that.
- Ahh you’re krilling me!
- What is this aquarium website we’ve all been herring all about?
- You betta believe it.
- You’re clearly a Dab hand at this.
- It doesn’t get any betta than this.
- Salmon, call a doctor!
- He really schooled you just then.
- This is the first time I’m herring about the issue.
- This isn’t a consensus a-monk the group.
- Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself!
- Well now we’re just stuck between a rock and a hard plaice!
- Anyone else want to place a bait?
- If you cross me I’ll make you feel my wrasse!