25 Harry Potter Puns That Are Anything But Sirius

By Callie Byrnes Updated January 16, 2024

Unsplash / Sarah Ehlers

By Callie Byrnes Updated January 16, 2024

Unsplash / Sarah Ehlers

What’s more magical than a great Harry Potter pun?

Let’s be Sirius, nothing is more Ridikulous than Slytherin a great Harry Potter joke into a conversation. Comment with your own Harry Potter puns!

1. Did you hear that were going to make an entire book about Harry Potter’s godfather?

They ended up axing it, they thought it would be too Sirius!

2. How many Slytherins does it take to stir a cauldron?

Just one. He puts his wand in the cauldron and the world revolves around him!

3. Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad teacher?

Because he can’t control his pupils!

4. Where can you find Dumbledore’s Army?

Up his sleevy!

5. Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?

So you’ll never know what side he’s on!

6. What do you call two Quidditch players who share a dorm?

Broom-mates!

7. How do you get a mythological creature into your house?

Through the Gryffindor!

8. Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter to Facebook?

Because he only has followers, not friends!

9. How do the Malfoys enter a building?

They Slytherin!

10. On a scale of one to ten, how obsessed are you with Harry Potter?

9 3/4!

11. What’s the most unrealistic thing about the Harry Potter books?

A ginger with two friends!

12. Why was Harry Potter sent to the headmaster’s office?

He wouldn’t stop cursing in class!

13. Why doesn’t Voldemort wear glasses?

Nobody nose!

14. How did Harry Potter get rid of his rash?

With quit-itch!

15. How do Death Eaters freshen their breath?

With Dementos!

16. What do you call a Potterhead on a horse?

Harry Trotter!

17. Did you survive Avada Kedavra?

‘Cause you’re drop dead gorgeous!

18. What did Harry say to his godfather when he wouldn’t laugh at his jokes?

Why so Sirius?!

19. Why did the professors dislike having Fred and George Weasley at Hogwarts?

They didn’t know which witch was which!

20. How do Hogwarts students go on field trips?

They take the Albus!

21. What do Ravenclaws wear on their feet?

Terry Boots!

22. What did Harry Potter wear when his hair fell out?

A Hedwig!

23. What did Percy say when he saw the dirty swimming pool?

Penelope, Clearwater!

24. Which Hogwarts student would help you learn how to play Quidditch?

I think Oliver Wood.

25. Why are all the girls so obsessed with Oliver Wood?

He’s a real keeper!

More Humorous, Punny Jokes

Below are more clever puns to share with loved ones and make them smile.