You’ve had a rough day. A rough week. A rough year. So sit down, grab an ice cold beverage, and read through these beer puns. You deserve it.
1. Why doesn’t Jesus buy beer?
2. How is a casino like a woman?
Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
3. What does a ghost drink?
4. What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A Budweiser in each hand!
5. What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
6. What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts sell for a dollar ninety eight, deer nuts are just under a buck.
7. Why is alcohol the perfect solvent?
It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
8. What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk.
9. Why do drunks like Christmas?
Because it’s the most wonderful time of the beer.
10. A skeleton walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a mop.
11. Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive.
12. What does a drunk walrus have in common with a woman at a tupperware party?
They’re both out looking for a tight seal.
13. Why was a man assassinated?
Because he asked the bartender for a shot.
14. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “how much for a beer?”
The bartender replies, “For you? No charge!”
15. A Roman walks into a bar…
He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”
16. What shouldn’t you say to a policeman?
I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
17. What’s the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
18. What do men and beer have in common?
They’re both empty from the neck up.
19. What do you call a man running with a beer?
20. How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle?
None. the lady should already have it open on the table!
21. What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
22. What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?
The Holy Spirit!