1. What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
2. What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
3. Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
4. Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
5. How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
6. Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
7. Why do avocados often get depressed?
Because they feel pit-iful.
8. How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
9. What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
10. What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
11. What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
12. What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
13. What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
14. What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
15. If I buy you guacamole, will you have sex with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
16. Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.