50+ Christmas Puns Yule Laugh Out Loud To

What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? "Wait, there's myrrh."

Updated 10 months ago, January 16, 2024

Christmas puns make it the merriest time of year. If you read this list, yule laugh until eggnog comes out your nose. Add your own Christmas puns in the comments!

Why was the candy cane so expensive?

It was in mint condition.

What kind of music do elves love the most?

Wrap.

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw their Christmas tree?

It looks okay, but you could Spruce it up a bit.

Why did the elf hoard all the Christmas presents?

He was elfish.

What do you give a depressed elf?

An elf-help book.

What’s the forecast for Christmas Eve?

Rain, dear.

What should you do if your car stalls on Christmas Eve?

You get a mistletow.

What was Santa’s favorite subject in school?

Chemistree.

Did you hear about the group of reindeer who got into trouble?

Yeah, I herd.

What does Rudolph do when Santa drives too fast?

Hold on for deer life.

Why did the elf win the argument about his ears?

He had some good points.

Why do people assume sheep hate Christmas?

They always say “bah humbug.”

What did Santa and Mrs. Clause name their daughter?

Mary Christmas.

What did the English teacher call Santa’s helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call Santa when he accidentally falls in a fireplace?

Krisp Kringle.

What kind of linens to gingerbread men put on their beds?

Cookie sheets.

What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy?

Jolly ranchers.

How does Santa capture Christmas memories?

His North Pole-oroid.

What did Adam say on the very first Christmas?

It’s Christmas, Eve.

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

Why can’t vampires bite snowmen?

They’ll get frostbite.

What’s the difference between a normal alphabet and the North Pole alphabet?

The North Pole has no L.

Why is Santa’s favorite way to deliver Christmas presents through the chimney?

It soots him.

Why does Santa spend all summer gardening?

So he can ho-ho-ho.

What do you call someone who can’t stop thinking about Christmas?

Santa-mental.

Did you hear about the Christmas tree who could play guitar?

His name was Spruce Springsteen.

What is Snoop Dog’s favorite part of the holiday season?

The rapping paper.

What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?

Claus-trophobic.

What does Santa use to keep from getting sick?

Santa-tizer.

Where does Santa stay when he’s traveling?

A ho-tel.

What does alcoholic Santa rely on most?

His rein-beers.

Did you hear about the dog who wrote his own Christmas song?

It’s called dashchund through the snow.

Why does Rudolph the Reindeer constantly interrupt people?

He’s Rude-olph.

What song does Beyoncé sing at Christmas?

Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.

What do you say when you give someone a set of spices for Christmas?

Season’s greetings.

What would you get if you ate all the Christmas tree decorations?

Tinselitis.

How does Darth Vader know what everyone is getting for Christmas?

He’s felt their presents.

What’s the most popular breakfast cereal at the North Pole?

Snowflakes.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Ice crispies.

What did the doctor say when he checked in on Jesus in the manger?

He’s in stable condition.

What is Rudolph’s occupation during the summer?

Pole dancer.

What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?

Wait, there’s myrrh.

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

What do baby elfs learn in Kindergarten at the North Pole?

The elf-abet.

What did Santa say when someone inquired if one of his workshops was available to rent?

For lease, Navidad!

Why are Turkey’s so good at playing Christmas music?

They have drum sticks.

What is the least trustworthy Christmas dessert?

Mince spies.

Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?

He’s cool.

Do Christmas lights work over the holidays?

Off and on.

How does Ebenezer Scrooge get drunk?

On Christmas spirits.

Add your own Christmas puns in the comments!

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