If you came across a great white while swimming in the ocean, you would be terrified about losing your guts. But from the safety of land, the only danger you’re in is that these shark puns might make you bust a gut laughing.
1. What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
2. The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
3. Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
4. The star attraction at my local aquarium has been repossessed.
Turns out it was a loan shark.
5. What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
6. What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
7. How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
8. There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
9. What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
11. What happened when the shark got famous?
He became a starfish.
12. How did the shark plead in it’s murder trial?
13. What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
14. Where do sharks go on vacation?
15. How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
16. What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
17. What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible.
18. Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
19. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
20. What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
21. What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
22. What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
23. What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
24. What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
25. What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
26. Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
27. What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
28. Why do sharks live in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
29. I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I’d better watch my ass.
30. I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
31. What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
32. What’s a shark favorite substance?
33. Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?