You walk into the recruiter office and eyeball those posters of soldiers with stern faces of quiet dignity and confidence, you lack both.

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

16. On that note, common sense isn’t that common. You will understand this when you are forced to train new employees.

No, your eyes do not deceive you, that is indeed a CARDIGAN DRESS.

Introverts can be difficult to know – because we often require a little more work that the average bear.

If you find a sale item that you’re interested in buying, check the online version of the store before you purchase — often, their sales are better online, and you…

You have a mutual favorite movie or show that the two of you can quote down to the last line. Everyone has learned to hate your conversations that exist only…

Don’t sleep alone. Wake up surrounded by friends so you can all get something to eat and talk about the amazing things that just happened.

Maybe these will put your life into perspective.

Sometimes, you wonder if everyone is faking it, even the people who seem to have it all down to a science.

For reasons unknown, a predilection for scientology is often accompanied by closeted sexual preferences.

There’s nothing more valuable in life than someone who’s nice to you and means it.

One-night-only-no-strings-attached encounters are controversial.

Here comes the kick: “It’s not you, it’s me”.

Breakups will never be what they once were. In order to really let go and not spend two years getting over a six month relationship, you have to detach. You…

The major, overarching aspects of your life will always retreat to the background and become the platform for your day. They will not be the things that capture your wonder…

Fact: Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears almost starred in ‘The Notebook.’

I for one have never had a drunken night of dancing that ended well.

Did you know that, based on the word’s original definition, the satirical newspaper “The Onion” is a “travesty?”

When you need someone to open up about something, have them drive you somewhere.

1. Pretending they’re “into you” just to get you “into” bed.

4. The “hand perfectly rigid, raised to shoulder level, unmoving” wave.

Snapchat: the most emotionally invasive social networking application to date.

I had an opportunity to sit down with a few friends the other day and we were talking about things that both sides do to protect and prevent in relationships.…

So the management just puts a crappy bottle with a big markup in that slot, and everyone buys it.

Your reason to live should be very much like your reason to listen to music. Once you learn to appreciate all the elements of music you appreciate it more than…

Why do we do this to ourselves?

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Gays.

The truth is that I simply cannot imagine life without dinners at the Beverly Hills Hotel, weekends in Malibu, first class travel, or any of the other myriad material pleasures…

“They told me my hair was unprofessional, that it wasn’t appropriate for the workplace.”

It’s been a long minute since I’ve kissed anyone. So… when the opportunity came up recently, you have no idea how much I wanted to kiss her.

Con: Gloria Steinem would totally not sit with you.

When I was 5, I wrote my first book.

When we live and travel abroad, every little nuance — the cracks in the sidewalk, the smell of fresh pastries, the wide horizon in the distance — all seem new.

There are many reasons why working on cruise ships is a wonderful opportunity, not limited to getting paid to travel, exploring new places, meeting rad people from all over the…

As the reality of what I’d gotten myself into set in, I began to have doubts. Maybe my parents were correct and I was, in fact, an absolute loon.

If your school is in a snowy area, cafeteria trays make great sleds.

Did you know that Hillary Clinton and Dame Judi Dench got slimed on Figure It Out, Nicolas Cage once appeared in Blue’s Clues and Skeeter was actually a member of…

Rob has a favorite sister, and it’s Kylie.

A woman is jealous only when she has nothing, but I who am the most loved of all women, what can I be jealous of?

11. For boyfriends, we are well aware of when another girl is hitting on you whether you’re playing stupid about not knowing, or genuinely unaware of it. We have flirtation…

Where does the money that we all work so hard to make go at the end of the week?

Deleting people off of Facebook who are constantly spouting off political or social stuff that makes you extremely upset, or feel personally attacked.

You have your whole life to get a career. This is not true about having a baby.

Tear the club up.

This is the account of an intelligent, lucid man who knew perfectly well what he was doing and did it with the intent of leaving a minimum amount of pain…

25. Men often say that they like the natural look on a woman, but they’re dirty f*cking liars.

5. You are Drake and your guy friend is Amanda Bynes.

As if our oft achy bodies or inability to recover from drinking weren’t enough, now we’ve got this to show us that Father Time ain’t no joke.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.