“Clear Eyes, Full Hearts…ehh we’ll deal with that later.”

An ex-lover is like a comfortable pair of jeans: soft and familiar, a reliable standby when you want to feel like your old self again.

I’ve got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I have even opened yet!

It’s just Liam Hemsworth, Taylor Swift, Amanda Bynes, Lindsay Lohan, The Mannings, Macklemore, Justin Bieber and all their childhood “friends.”

No one is turned on by your Craigslist Casual Encounters-style glamour shots. Just be yourself.

I’m a road trip fiend and I think I finally cracked the code.

Because there’s a difference between somebody eating an untoasted Pop-Tart and someone else eating a eggs, bacon, toast and such.

Not being able to walk in a pair of heels immediately takes away any element of sexiness they once possessed.

I traded a shoe for a bowling pin and the secret knowledge of how to get into the goblin kingdom.

I don’t know why the idea came to me, but it hit me as soon as she left the room and I knew I had to act immediately and that…

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’ll have a fourth and fifth because I’m an emotional masochist.

Discouraging messages from people we can only hope aren’t real, living, non-troll human beings.

This is not Your Life. It’s just life. Not really yours. Stop thinking you can control things and make everything just so and accept that this will end, the leaves…

You’ll say to yourself, “We just fight a lot, we’re both hard-headed, we both want our way a little too much.”

6. Telling Other People About Your Hangover.

The 2–Minute Rule isn’t about the results you achieve, but rather about the process of actually doing the work. The focus is on taking action and letting things flow from…

If I’m in a bad mood, I would just be passive aggressive and give him the silent treatment by going into a corner and ignoring him.

Hate on lists that generalize/stereotype having one’s period.

In this day and age where everyone’s scrambling to compare girls in their twenties to Lena Dunham and writing insipid essays about “millennials,” you might need a little foundation to…

When it comes to smoking, I believe that some people can simply accept the fact that they smoke.

7. Don’t Immediately Look For A Rebound.

“I was never a feminist because I was never ugly enough for that.”

If the internet is to be believed, Pitch Perfect is the new Mean Girls.

Sometimes, us men go great lengths to deny that we’re able to feel feelings. The pent up repression varies by man, but those of us unable to fully express our…

When they play with kids or animals, hold babies, talk about their future kids or admit that they sometimes think of potential names for their spawn– these men exist I…

3. You’ve descended into depths that in the not so distant past, you swore you’d never go to. I am of course talking about endorsing people on LinkedIn.

Thirty minutes of Mendelssohn or one dose of Valium? It’s your pick because, according to a study at the University of Baltimore, both the music and the drug have the…

27. “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”

Assuming that they are the source (and solution) for our body issues.

As we’ve grown into the sometimes functional human beings that we currently are, we’ve come across certain films that have truly “spoken to us”–that focus on the sorts of issues…

15. Pushing your stomach out to get an idea of what pregnant-you will look like.

I’ve spent so much of my twenties testing myself, seeing how far I could go before I retreated to what felt safe. That’s why I met the man off Grindr.…

Keep their living space in a slight state of disarray.

Only 35% of Harvard freshman have ever had sex. Nationwide, 47% of students have sex before they graduate high school.

5. Stop making jokes during foreplay.

I’m hot cuz I’m fly, you ain’t cuz you not. This is why, this is why, this is why I’m hot.

As I read these, I relived all of my embarrassing and awful moments in life and I just want to crawl into my bed and play Animal Crossing to forget…

1. Spending on experiences is always better than buying materials.

Here are some newly-minted throwbacks that could catalyze the extraordinary.

Are you an introvert, or have the other less social, apprehensive aspects of your personality led you under a category to which you don’t necessarily belong?

It is my sincerest request that men stop behaving like having to wear a condom during sex is their sole cross to bear.

Girls who won’t hold a grudge if a true, genuine sorry has been given.

Let’s face it: bartenders are HOT.

17. People are forever going to refer to your races not as tones or hues but as flavors: chocolate, caramel, vanilla. “Sometimes I like a little bit of vanilla,” etc,…

College girls get drunk and do dumb things all the time. What is the purpose of aggrandizing this girl’s story to the point of no return? How many sentences do…

Was that you, Sam Goudie, who visited me in my nightmare last night? Cloaked in a black veil, you called yourself death. When I asked to see your face you…

If our mothers don’t approve, you’ve got no chance.

Don’t go to New York and eat Sbarro’s for lunch, you feel me?

Now before you go thinking that I’m some horribly calculating automaton, first stop and think about how beneficial this kind of universal self-centeredness is.

Fact: The Wizard of Oz has some of the wildest behind-the-scenes facts of any movie ever.