The world is composed of three types of people.
There are people who take, people who give and people who only give when they’ll get back or take when they’re taken from.
Takers, givers and matchers make the world go round by balancing each other’s behavior and one isn’t necessarily better than the other.
I’m a giver.
I realized this when I gave a gift to a guy I’d been dating for just a few weeks. While it seemed like no big deal to me his reaction of surprise was one that stuck with me.
On our next date I locked my keys in my car rushing to buy him a chocolate chip cookie (his favorite) before we met up and the only person I could call with spare keys to my car and in close proximity was my ex-boyfriend.
I had to tell myself, “You’re doing too much.”
Since then I’ve learned to recognize that my natural giving tendencies need to be balanced with boundaries. So before you lock your keys in your car going out of your way, there’s an easier way to tell you’re a giver.
1. You Return Everything You Borrow
If you’ve cleaned out your closet or desk drawer and recognized items that you “forgot” to return to their owners, you’re not a giver. Most givers hate toYou Return Everything You Borrow. borrow in the first place and aren’t down with OPP (other peoples property). A giver is rarely ever in possession of anything that belongs to someone else.
2. You Give (Re) Gifts For No Reason
You’re always looking for a home for those free things that you don’t need. Givers are the inventors of regifting. If we can’t use it we find a home for it with someone who can and we love doing it. Givers love to give (re) gifts because we hate when something given to us isn’t being put to its full potential. It’s our nature to find it a good home rather than throw it away.
3. You’d Rather Go Without Than Ask For Help
Givers hate to ask others for help. We pride ourselves in being independent and having our own so asking for help is almost impossible to a giver. Often we’ll go without because asking for assistance from others isn’t in our nature.
4. Givers Know A lot Of People And We Love When They Meet Each Other
If you know a matchmaker, you know a giver. Givers love when their friends and networks collide. We have large networks because we’re often filled with numerous interests. Givers also love people, so introducing others that can add value to our friends’ lives is a personal mission.
5. You Love To Give Advice
Are you the person your friends turn to for advice or your opinion? Are you constantly sharing information you’ve heard or read? Givers love to share knowledge, particularly their own. If you find yourself eager to offer advice to afraid consider yourself a bonafide giver.
6. Selling Comes Naturally
Do you have a career in sales? You’re probably a giver. Givers can sell water to wells and heaters in hell. We have a natural ability to care about what others want and to put their needs first. Because of this selling is a native quality to most givers.
7. You Send Thank You Notes, Texts or Emails
Because givers hate to ask for help when kindness is bestowed on us, we always say thank you. We love showing our appreciation because most times we genuinely are grateful for what was done for us. Few times do we feel obligated to say thank you when it’s deserved even then we do it anyway.
8. We Never Remind People They Owe Us
Givers rarely collect debts. Sometimes to our own detriment but if others forget to return what we’ve given them, it’s theirs forever. Most times when a giver parts with something they kiss it goodbye. If you ask to borrow something from a giver, consider it yours.
9. Doing For Other’s Feel Good
With the risk of being taken advantage of, givers enjoy doing for others because it just feels damned good to be helpful and make others happy. When there’s no gain in it for us, givers do anyway. Whether we’re in a position to do what’s asked of us or not, we’ll try our hardest to oblige because the benefits of feeling good are worth it.