1. Take too many quaaludes with your wife and you are at risk of having a Christmas card like the one below. It should also be noted that this photo was found from typing “teen mom” into search bar.
2. A lesson in why you should never home-school your kids:
3. Is she scared? Is she hiding? Is she posing? If you really need to stretch before going out, why must it be while leaning against a dumpster? Poor planning at its finest.
4. This one is aptly titled “Portrait of a Beautiful Young Businesswoman On Chair.” This photo is everything.
5. If you squint really hard, this one kind of looks like a lounge chair in outer space.
6. Hey! This one’s funny! Mostly because if you look away or close your eyes, you’ll still see it in your nightmares! HEHE!
7. I’m really not sure what’s going on here but I do wish bodily harm upon the blonde lady.
8. Simply irresistible. Also, good dancer.
9. Another one reserved for my nightmares. “Okay, we want an up-shot of a pedophile” is how I imagine the director envisioned this.
10. I can’t un-see this.
11. Another depiction of a “teen mom,” apparently. My question is: Why so happy? You haven’t even hit 20 yet, and your life is kaput.
12. This piece of gold is titled, “Pregnant woman and her teenager son outdoors.” Dude needs to relax and stop grabbing his mom’s ass.
13. Never been pregnant before, but that can’t be comfortable. Also, she is missing a left hand.
14. Here, a creepy girl with a curious proclivity for pregnant women, detailed in two photos.
15. Pregnant In A Mental Asylum: A Portrait.
16. Goddamn mushroom cuts never looked so good.
17. I call this one, “Woman With 2 Right Legs.” This photo confounds me deeply.
18. I don’t even know anymore.
19. I don’t like it! I don’t like it one bit.
20. Is this allowed?
21. Typed “seduction” into search bar. Got this. Pretty much.
22. What am I even looking at?
23. Someone has to poo…
24. A Portrait Of A Pedophile As Santa Claus.
25. I have questions. Lots and lots of questions. Namely: what’s going on here? What’s on her tooth? And do you think she knows that a blonde mustache is still a visible mustache?
26. I’ve lost all hope in life.