1. Take too many quaaludes with your wife and you are at risk of having a Christmas card like the one below. It should also be noted that this photo was found from typing “teen mom” into search bar.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_160196828.jpg)
2. A lesson in why you should never home-school your kids:
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_151297172.jpg)
3. Is she scared? Is she hiding? Is she posing? If you really need to stretch before going out, why must it be while leaning against a dumpster? Poor planning at its finest.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_62601883.jpg)
4. This one is aptly titled “Portrait of a Beautiful Young Businesswoman On Chair.” This photo is everything.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_162622037.jpg)
5. If you squint really hard, this one kind of looks like a lounge chair in outer space.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_149412011.jpg)
6. Hey! This one’s funny! Mostly because if you look away or close your eyes, you’ll still see it in your nightmares! HEHE!
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_161908853.jpg)
7. I’m really not sure what’s going on here but I do wish bodily harm upon the blonde lady.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_139130681.jpg)
8. Simply irresistible. Also, good dancer.
![](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_114315571.jpg)
9. Another one reserved for my nightmares. “Okay, we want an up-shot of a pedophile” is how I imagine the director envisioned this.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_164151239.jpg)
10. I can’t un-see this.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_164151197-1.jpg)
11. Another depiction of a “teen mom,” apparently. My question is: Why so happy? You haven’t even hit 20 yet, and your life is kaput.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_134829782.jpg)
12. This piece of gold is titled, “Pregnant woman and her teenager son outdoors.” Dude needs to relax and stop grabbing his mom’s ass.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_151073729.jpg)
13. Never been pregnant before, but that can’t be comfortable. Also, she is missing a left hand.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_93880162.jpg)
14. Here, a creepy girl with a curious proclivity for pregnant women, detailed in two photos.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_62662615.jpg)
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_62662618.jpg)
15. Pregnant In A Mental Asylum: A Portrait.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_1057047.jpg)
16. Goddamn mushroom cuts never looked so good.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_93443578.jpg)
17. I call this one, “Woman With 2 Right Legs.” This photo confounds me deeply.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_164168552.jpg)
18. I don’t even know anymore.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_164134157.jpg)
19. I don’t like it! I don’t like it one bit.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_123266260.jpg)
20. Is this allowed?
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_91793675.jpg)
21. Typed “seduction” into search bar. Got this. Pretty much.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_163901651.jpg)
22. What am I even looking at?
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_156262340.jpg)
23. Someone has to poo…
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_106016630.jpg)
24. A Portrait Of A Pedophile As Santa Claus.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_91032176.jpg)
25. I have questions. Lots and lots of questions. Namely: what’s going on here? What’s on her tooth? And do you think she knows that a blonde mustache is still a visible mustache?
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_24258277.jpg)
26. I’ve lost all hope in life.
![shutterstock.com](http://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/shutterstock_164043788.jpg)
![Thought Catalog Logo Mark](https://thoughtcatalog.com/wp-content/themes/thoughtcatalog-2014/assets/dist/images/tc_mark.gif)