What happened guys? You used to be cool.

The awkward glances, the slow hour-and-a-half you spend staring at a movie screen, inching – centimetering, really – your hand towards theirs.

Why the hullabaloo over my $300 anti-aging neck moisturizer?? Just kidding. (Or am I?)

Live human contact is slowly becoming a thing of the past. It’s gotten to the point where when someone calls me (instead of sending me a text), I think something…

Actually, when you think about it, going grocery shopping together is one of your favorite things.

Fanny. Sorry but that word does not mean butt. It means vagina.

12. Go on a long ass drive alone. Play all your favorite songs and coast with one hand out the window as you rip past.

Chances are if you’re reading this, then you’re not in middle school anymore. If you are, then stop reading right now because you must preserve your reputation for “coolness.”

12. The innocent hair twirl

So you’ve decided to do what everyone else is doing and buy a longboard to cruise around town. But why are you not getting respect from real skaters, or what…

It took about a year to get the iconic shot in where blood pours out of the elevator in The Shining.

Stripped on a pool table while three guys watched and stuffed money in my underwear. I’m not a stripper I just did it for fun.

7. You have walked into things, people, parked and or moving cars while staring down at your phone.

You don’t want to admit it, but you’ll never be over it.

No but like seriously, can you not? I literally just got a pap smear and I realllllllly don’t want to go back to the gyno, at least not ’til I’m…

Finally getting attention from someone you perceive to be much more attractive, popular, or worthy than you. Feeling like you are honored just by getting a bit of their time,…

Recover from your disappointment with the ‘Dexter’ finale by rebounding with something new. You need that in your life.

2. The grass is always greener on the other side.

I do not use seat covers in public bathrooms.

9. To some degree worriers are warriors, battling & staving off their constant flow of unpleasant thoughts and concerns as they try to manage a somewhat normal day.

2. You make strangers guess your ethnicity for your entertainment

It happens all the time: when I go out to a club, party, bar, or any event where alcohol is present and mention I don’t drink, people seem to take…

If you’re just on the cusp of becoming a 20-something, or currently a 20-something, or even past being a 20-something, take the time to appreciate some words of wisdom left…

23. Troll 2.

I have a close friend who in one week went from being a homeless couch-surfing fitness instructor to living in a fabulous apartment near the beach and driving a Porsche…

Getting the very last adorable sale item, which is both perfectly your size and completely unscathed by gross makeup stains from a billion girls trying it on before you.

You can guard your heart and not get hurt again, or you can be vulnerable and experience love. You cannot do both, so you have a choice to make.

“Kiss The Rain” by Billie Myers

13. Your to-do lists are all like “we’re gonna do all this great stuff this week!” Tuesday is all like “I’m tired.”

At this point in my life, I’m considered an adult. Yes, maybe sometimes I don’t completely act like it, but that’s part of life, right? As I’m growing up, I…

Stop it with the snide remarks. Teaching is not babysitting.

That people can think in languages other than my native one.

A man named William Morgan was rejected from the masons in the 1800s. He pitched and received a large advance to then publish a book revealing their secrets. He disappeared…

Don’t refuse the tea. It’s rude.

“Are you gay?” No. You’re just single. You’re glad to know people think you are though.

15. If you’re driving in D.C. please make sure there’s ample amount of air in your tires, potholes will tear your wheels apart.

I firmly believe that you can do anything you want while you’re in a relationship, but before you go about throwing yourself into something, it’s best to ask the big…

In 2013, we have our Channing Tatums and our Zac Efrons, but nothing we will ever produce can hold a candle to Montgomery Clift and James Dean. They just don’t…

You don’t have to tell people you date that you come as a package deal. They know. And if they don’t, they will when they’re laying next to you the…

Upon being introduced to a friend of a friend–and your connector friend leaves to go to the bathroom–it’s time for a full-on panic.

A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left, the chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft…

Betsy Ross had girls sleep with enemies during the revolutionary war to gain intel. (Pretty much ran a brothel).

Working out, because you don’t need a bunch of randos around you to throw off your swag by judging the way you improperly use the stair machine. An empty gym…

You have a zombie survival guide. A hard copy. You know why it can’t be digital.

5. If you attempt to hit on me with racially charged pick-up lines, I will take the drink you bought for me and splash it over your head. I will…

1. So, the answer is basically anything longer than 7 inches or 6 inches in girth.

Yeah, Sleeping Beauty has class in the morning.

I will meet him somewhere neutral: a coffee shop, a bar, a bookstore.

I know the internet (including myself) is all up on Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ryan Gosling for being ridiculously, ridiculously good looking, but let’s pay respect to the reigning king of…

Fact: If you watch Citizen Kane with your boyfriend and he doesn’t like it, you may want to consider getting a new boyfriend.