My post on Marlon Brando’s immortal, timeless hotness sparked some debate amongst my friends as to who truly is the sexiest of them all. I’ve already put in my (totally correct) vote that Brando is the hottest person in the history of hot people. However, I will not deny the internet more hotties, and when I browsed the list of vintage studs, I found there’s a lot of sexy to go around.
In 2013, we have our Channing Tatums and our Zac Efrons, but nothing we will ever produce can hold a candle to Montgomery Clift and James Dean. We always say that they don’t make movies like they used to, but as this these 21 hotties prove, they also don’t make sexy like they used to.
1. Paul Newman
Interests: Hanging out with Robert Redford, staring at you with his crazy blue eyes.
Enjoys: Long walks on the beach, repressed homosexual love triangles with Elizabeth Taylor.
2. Cary Grant
Interests: Talking really fast, proving that he’s the most suave person who has ever lived.
Enjoys: Wearing suits, being in Hitchcock movies.
3. Rock Hudson
Enjoys: Pillow talks with Doris Day, being taller than everyone else on the planet.
4. James Dean
Interests: Brooding, forming non-traditional families.
Enjoys: Wearing red jackets, throwing his coat on the ground because he doesn’t respect authority.
5. Gene Kelly
Interests: Singing (and dancing) in the rain, making your panties wet.
Enjoys: Smiling, gallivanting across Paris with Leslie Caron.
6. Gregory Peck
Interests: Fatherhood, chasing the white whale.
Enjoys: Roman Holidays, fighting post-war racism in the South.
7. Warren Beatty
Interests: Himself (mostly).
Enjoys: Having Carly Simon songs written about him (maybe), being inside Annette Bening (definitely).
8. Jean-Paul Belmondo
Interests: Gangster movies, girls with pixie haircuts.
Enjoys: Smoking cigarettes, running from the law.
9. Montgomery Clift
Interests: Tennessee Williams, Sigmund Freud.
Enjoys: Looking really sad all the time, not smiling (except in those unicorn moments).
10. Clark Gable
Interests: Perfecting his moustache, lung cancer.
Enjoys: Telling off spoiled Southern women, great one-liners.
11. Robert Redford
Interests: Daisy Buchanan, Utah.
Enjoys: Directing movies no one sees, making everyone else around him look ugly.
12. Steve McQueen
Interests: Driving cars sexily, turtlenecks.
Enjoys: Escaping from things, stealing paintings.
13. William Holden
Interests: Audrey Hepburn, taking off his shirt for no reason.
Enjoys: Being the object of Gloria Swanson’s affections, pools.
14. Farley Granger
Interests: Trading murders with you, tennis.
Enjoys: Feuding with Alfred Hitchcock, being the least interesting part of every movie he’s in.
15. Errol Flynn
Interests: Pirates, playing dress up in the bedroom.
Enjoys: Sword fights, stealing from the 1%.
16. Burt Lancaster
Interests: Being all-American, rose tattoos.
Enjoys: Making out on the beach, confusing people as to which Airport movie he was in.
17. Anthony Perkins
Interests: Self-denial, his mother.
Enjoys: Sandwiches, taking showers with you.
18. Henry Fonda
Interests: Justice, raising an awesome daughter.
Enjoys: Standing up for the little guy, overcoming impossible odds.
19. Sir Lawrence Olivier
Interests: Taking baths with Tony Curtis, Shakespeare.
Enjoys: Eating oysters and snails, being the original Mr. Darcy.
20. John Cassavetes
Interests: Mental illness, Satan.
Enjoys: Making movies with his entire family, inspiring Le Tigre songs.
21. Clint Eastwood
Interests: Chewing on straw, gunfights.
Enjoys: Not talking, spawning mind-bogglingly hot offspring.