1. Have sex, don’t have sex, your virginity doesn’t define you.

“Don’t worry, I like curvy girls.”

3. Your friends’ siblings, who were tiny people when you used to go over to their place in high school, are now fully blossoming into adults and frankly it’s kind…

The caller sounds disturbed out of his mind, claiming to have just been dismissed from his job at Area 51 and is now seemingly on the run for his life.

It’s an anxious period in a 20-somethings life where you’re directionless and spiritually you don’t know your head from your butt. One moment you’re breaking necks and cashing checks, the…

This means you are an adult. This also means you don’t have the eyesore of an overflowing laundry basket in the corner of your room.

Louie’s best known for his standup and critically acclaimed television show, but arguably the best merger of his philosophical talents happens in the late-night guest chair.

Decide the girl who told you she got those really cute shorts here was either lying to you, or is a witch and can just summon the clutch pieces to…

2. Intricate Knowledge of 7-11s.

Royals = high school student partying sans student loan payments.

Cyndi Lauper – Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Get out the popcorn for this one.

“I was just thinking, maybe you were doin’ all that prayin’ and I’m the answer to your prayers.”

You’ve jumped on more hay bales than trampolines

The more you know about him, the more likely he is to come and find you.

Was life uncontestedly better after Nick Cannon’s manifesto as a gigolo? Yes, it was.

On Wednesdays we wear pink

Cry when you leave your campus job and do all kinds of sentimental “award” things and goodbye speeches for people. Make some more statuses about your disbelief.

2. Father John Misty

As far as I’m concerned, the only people who claim intentions don’t matter are those who have fundamentally bad intentions.

Films are often taken for granted as stories of human triumph, inspiration for our dark moments, and intricate storytelling that we can lean on and look to in our darkest…

No one wants a degenerate sleeping in their bed; if you’re the guest at a adult sleepover, set your alarm for 9:30 so as not to reveal that you’re a…

Email is weird, especially professional emails. Unlike text messages or tweets, you can’t just write a quick line getting straight to the point.

Strategy isn’t something that’s taught well in school. Hell, most people probably couldn’t tell you the difference between “strategy” and “tactics” (or even know there is a difference.)

I will never love a man who does not treat me with respect and kindness, tenderly, his one and only.

Our lives are looking pretty bleak.

When we’re drunk, though, when our cheeks are flushed with rosé, something changes.

Not wearing pants.

Using a bathroom at someone’s house where they have not provided a little trash can to throw away their products in. What are you supposed to do, besides roll it…

She immediately sent me a message and it quickly turned into the most bizarre online encounter I’ve ever had. Here’s how it went down:

No boy who’s ever been on the receiving end of a bikini photo has ever made a comment.

“I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch. I’d take her if I had one wish.”

You’ve been warned.