47 Thoughts Everyone Has During Sex

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Shutterstock

1. This room is filthy/he probably has an STD based on this information alone.
2. Will he be big?
3. Wait, what’s that thing for?
4. Wait, is that his cum or mine?
5. Please just cum already, jesus.
6. Seriously, can you cum now?
7. Scandal is on in 10 minutes. I need to get out of this in 5 to 8 minutes.
8. Okay, now my legs are starting to give out.
9. Wait, you’re still wearing the condom right?
10. Penises look so funny with condoms on them LOL!!!
11. Gays: I hope he’s a top.

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Shutterstock

12. Gays: I hope he’s a bottom.
13. Is this being videotaped?
14. Okay well I’ve never seen THAT shape of dick before.
15. Did he really just ask me to “Suck that dick like a bitch”?
16. Hi, can you actually go easier on the balls?
17. Do I look fat? Do I have a double chin?
18. I hope I don’t pull out and have some weird vagina shit on my dick.
19. I am awesome.
20. Whoa, s/he is so good at this.
21. Can s/he tell I’m bored?
22. FUUCKKKKKK

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Shutterstock

23. Wonder how I measure up?
24. God, can his roommates hear us?
25. What am I going to wear tomorrow?
26. DON’T BE AFRAID. NO DART TONGUE! MORE PRESSURE. LESS PRESSURE. DON’T STOP. KEEP GOING. WAIT WHY ARE YOU STOPPING???
27. Is this an awkward angle?
28. OMG I forgot about that pie I have in the fridge!!!
29. Can I actually have the other side of the bed?
30. What’s the best way to avoid the wet spot??
31. I should have at least rinsed before but was not expecting to get laid.

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Shutterstock

32. Okay now my jaw is getting tired.
33. Seriously I’m getting exhausted.
34. OH SHIT IS THAT A HERPES OUTBREAK??
35. So you’re sure you’re “clean,” right?
36. LOL why is s/he making that face?
37. Why am I even doing this?
38. Wonder what/who is s/he is thinking about?
39. Did not know I was capable of that type of sound.
40. Well that was not a good idea.
41. Hmmm I never noticed that spot on the ceiling before. Should prolly call the landlord about that tomorrow.

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Shutterstock

42. The cat has been watching us the whole time.
43. Do I let her pee first or do I go now?
44. What’s the nicest way to get rid of him/her?
45. Oh god she wants me to stay over.
46. Oh no she doesn’t want me to stay over :(
47. How long should I wait to call/text? TC mark

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