23 Bartenders Reveal Their Dive Bar Horror Stories

Bartenders face the worst kind of people — drunks. Head over to this Reddit thread for more examples. Don’t drink and be a prick.
image - Flickr / Weekly Dig
image – Flickr / Weekly Dig

1. Plot twist

So I was working one Saturday night and this guy staggers up to the bar and slurs out the words “can I have a scotch and coke”, he seemed really drunk so I told him he should have a glass of water and we will see.

I was preparing for some shitty excuse, But he just says “I talk like this, because I have cerebral palsy”

2. That did not end up as well as it should’ve

I was in the process of closing up the bar. It was Thursday so there was basically just me and the cooks at 11pm. This blonde lady in her mid thirties walks in with a strut and orders a long island. She has a couple and then out of the blue tells me her little girl was raped by her boyfriend and that he’s in jail now but she still loves him. She goes on like this for a while.

Now, at this point I can tell she had had a few before arriving at the bar and is getting kinda gushy. Flirting with the line cook in his pepper pants and such. I asked if she was driving and she said she was walking. I offered to get her a cab and she said she lived close and would be fine. I figure if she’s on foot she can’t get into too much trouble.

WRONG.

Got a call the next day from the police saying she was found in the middle of the street about 4 blocks away and had been run over. My manager was a dick about it and immediately started grilling me about how many drinks I had served her. I could have sworn it was only 2 plus the super watered down one I had given her at the end. I felt terrible until I was questioned by the police and they said they expected she laid down in the street on purpose. I decided to work breakfast after that.

3. I regret this decision

It was a busy Friday and a guy was going around making clumsy passes at every woman in the bar. Me and a bouncer walk up to him and inform him that it is time to leave. He agrees and walks outside of the bar. We asked him if he needed a cab he said no and walked across the street to the seven eleven. Fast forward about twenty minutes, I hear a loud crash and look to the front door and the dude has punched through the window. The window didn’t shatter, he punched a nice round hole through it and had his arm up to the shoulder in the hole. He pulled his arm out and in the process he cut all of the tendons and arteries in his armpit. Thank god one of the bouncers was in school to be a paramedic. Tied the arm off, called an ambulance and they took him away. He came back a couple months later and informed us that he had lost the use of the arm and may never regain any functionality. He thanked the bouncer, and then wrote a cheque for the window. That’s the worst thing I’ve seen working in the industry, but I’ve got plenty more.

4. A beast once fought in here once…

I’ve been a bartender for about 10 years now. I usually work at dive bars but I’ve had my stints at fine dining establishments. I think the absolute worst thing I’ve ever had the inopportune chance of coming across happened at downtown Nashville at an unnamed bar on Broadway. I had just gone downstairs to change out a keg since the barback was upstairs opening up standalone beer cooler for a ‘Beer Goddess’. As I’m coming back up the stairs a body flies -through- the door I’m about to open into the wall to my right. (It’s like a small landing at the top of the steps with the door to the left.)

The man that was just rocketed through the door was my 6’7″ 250 lb bouncer named Jared. He stands back up and rushes back out the door. While I was gone, this Hungarian monster of a man had knocked out 4 patrons, 1 bouncer, and was holding his own against 6 others. I’ve seen a lot of bar fights in my time, but this man would NOT go down, eventually the cops showed up – but this man unarmed, took on tasers, threw a cop through a window, took a metal baseball bat to the ribs, and law enforcement grade mace to the face.

Eventually he did finally go down, but not before stripping all of his clothes off, doing a body drop on the top of the police cruiser, and masturbating against a female officer.

Turns out he was on speed, PCP, and bath salts. His wounds consisted of 9 broken ribs, fractured orbital, leg broken in 4 places, and his hands were broken in multiple places.

He put the original bouncer I mentioned in the hospital, and 2 cops were hospitalized as well.

5. This is exactly how I thought dive bars operated

I used to tend bar at this hole in the wall outside Austin. It was a big biker scene. The owner couldn’t get girls to work there on account of the level of attention they would get from these guys, so she hired me.

I worked there for about 2 months. The motorcycle club that used it as a “headquarters” was always there and usually kept the peace but 2 instances will always be in my mind.

  1. A band is playing the usual rock and roll cover band stuff. No stage in this place so they are just set up in a corner. A couple drunk girls were really getting into the music and kept approaching the band, singing into mics, playing air guitar or drums along with the band members. Finally, one of the girls walks up to the lead singer, grabs the mic in one hand and his junk in the other and starts singing along with the song. This did not sit well with the lead singer’s wife who jumped this girl, hit her with a beer bottle and then, literally, tried to strangle her. Music stops, bikers jump into action to stop it. Apparently, its not the first time its happened and the wife had had enough. No major injuries. No cops, but a wild cat fight.
  2. The owner was this big biker broad out of California. Tough as nails. She used to get in fights with her old man all the time. They’d get drunk and yell at each other. Threaten each other with divorce. All that shit. One Saturday night it got bad. They got twisted up and wound up in the back kitchen of the bar. I can hear them yelling at each other then it stops and I hear a large crash. Then the old man comes out ask me for a beer and sits down. I lean back into the kitchen and the owner is sitting down on the floor, unconscious. He had knocked her out. I grabbed a couple of the other guys to go check on her. She comes to and goes apeshit. She came flying out of the kitchen, grabbed him by his beard and started punching him in the face. They grapple for a while before we break it up. I’m pushing the old man back. He looks me dead in the eye and says, “Don’t make me go to my hip.” I didn’t understand what that meant till one of the other club members told me that meant he was going to pull a knife on me. He went outside and she followed. They wrestled some more then she threw him off the patio of the bar and he broke his arm. The next day the old man’s daughter showed up and went at it with the owner and the owner broke her nose. Just another shit show in hillbilly land.

6. She wanted to tell someone

I was bartending at this hotel one night when a relatively attractive girl came into the bar. She sat down, ordered a drink and we began chatting. After some banter back and forth she says, “…and man does my vagina hurt right now! Wow I took a pounding.” I kind of paused, unsure of how to respond to that. But my curiosity got the best of me so I played along and asked why. Turns out she was a call girl. She was upstairs in the hotel minutes earlier and got gang banged by three guys at the same time. She started going on about how many dicks she Sucks in a day, talking about her work as a hooker like one would any job where they had to do a lot of stuff in a day. Except her stuff to do was people.

7. Why do people get that drunk

Served this older lady and her girlfriend for a few hours. They were apparently regulars, I had just started. One of them was drinking vodka like it was water. All I knew was that her name was Patricia and she was hilarious. The drunker she got, the funnier she was.

To make a long story short, around 1:30am she leaned over the bar like she wanted to tell me a secret. I went over and she acts like she’s going to whisper in my ear and SCREAMS, “I’M PEEING RIGHT NOW!!!” I got the deer in headlights look and looked over the bar and realized she had been peeing on her stool all night….

I decided to call a cab for her and take the stool outside to hose it down later. (Ugh) So she’s standing outside waiting for the cab as I’m dragging the stool out there. The cab drives up, looks at her and the driver says, “Nope. No way. Not again. She’s not getting in my cab.” When I asked why, he said, “Potty Patty is banned from all the cabs in town. Good luck finding her a ride.” And he drove off.

So apparently….this was a regular occurrence, and EVERYBODY knew it….No one bothered to tell me. I had to drive her home.

8. No flashing

I threw a guy out last week due to finding him drinking a 40 in a booth. He tried to convince me he bought it there, but we don’t sell those. About an hour later, he calls the bar threatening to come in and “smash my racist head in with a hammer.” So, that was a fun Monday.

I forgot about another!

One of the actual scariest nights, a guy was walking around with a gun, threatening people and flashing it. We had to quietly call the police, who came in about 10 terrifying minutes later with their rifles. Unfortunately, the guy has family members in good places and he was out of custody the next day.

He came in about a month later to apologize, said he had just gotten back from Iraq then, and he was dealing with some stuff. It’s scary what war can do to some people.

9. Maybe he knew…

I used to be a bar manager. One of my youngest bartenders notices a guy slobbering all over some girl…I mean really cleaning each other’s tongues. Dude walks up to the bar and orders a drink. Young bartender says to him, “Hey, I wouldn’t be making out with that girl if I were you…” Douchebag customer says, “Fuck you, don’t tell ME what to fucking do!” What the douchebag customer didn’t know was that the girl he was making out with had just sucked off the bartender’s friend in the parking lot…MINUTES before.

10. It was unfortunate for everyone involved

I’ve posted some bartending stories before so here we go. Surprisingly, I have crazier stories from the nicer bars I’ve worked at than dive bars but we can do a dive bar story. This particular dive was down in Texas, typical cheers style everyone knows each other place. But every now and then, I would get a customer I’ve never seen before. These people were generally kind of shady but always felt comfortable.

I had one guy sit down at my VERY slow and therefore quiet bar and commence to call a sex chat line. He started out by entering his credit card info into his phone then “Oh yeah baby what are you wearing…oh of course I like that.” I had no clue what to do about that, but it never got too bad and I could see both of his hands and he didn’t try to go to the bathroom.

Another guy called up his drug dealer, and started to try and him to come sell this dude meth at my bar. I threw that guy out. I know, double standards.

We had one female regular who was not an attractive woman. Young enough, but just…unfortunate. She was always trying to get the male regulars to pay attention to her but that was not about to happen. One night, she was fucking wasted and (I found out later) pushed an unsuspecting friend of a regular into the women’s room, pinned him to the wall and gave him a blowjob. I looked over to the bathroom right as she was walking out wiping her lips and he was zipping up looking very confused. I asked him if he was alright and he replied “…I’m fine. That chick just…blew me.” Meanwhile, she was kissing all the guy regulars good night on the cheek (this is common in the South). When homeboy went back to the table and told them what happened, they all realized she had basically smeared his man juice all over their faces. I didn’t see her much after that.

11. Cool as a cucumber

There was a stone cold gourmet chef from Apulia, Italy that owned a bunch of restaurants in NJ then moved to Panama City Beach, FL to “retire” (meaning working 6 12 hour shifts a week instead of 7) The food was amazing, but the waitresses were your typical waffle house gals. “Our spechal today is the G-nokki Gorgonzoola” stuff like that.

I was bartending on the weekends and my Friend Rachel was at the bar drinking wine and we were talking. This guy having dinner with his wife, kids, parents and in-laws comes to the bar and starts flirting with her. He’s been drinking. He offers her a shot of top shelf vodka. She reluctantly accepts. $7. She drinks it and thanks him.

He goes back to the table and after a few minutes motions to give her another shot. She says she doesn’t want it, so I pour her a shot of water. She lifts the glass, lifts it towards him and downs it. Few minutes later, he motions for another. Another $7 shot of water. She lifts it and then leaves in on the bar.

The table finishes their dinner, load up the kids and old folks into the van, and the man comes back in and leans against the bar and starts flirting. The wife comes in and touches his shoulder. “Herb, let’s go, we’re waiting.

He takes the shot of what he thinks is vodka, throws it full into his wife’s face, she runs out completely humiliated and he turns around cool as you please as if to say “now where were we?”

12. He was paranoid AND stupid

Not a bartender but I was saved by one once. My freshmen year of college, we used to go to this dive by because they overlooked our bad fake IDs.

My school was in an interesting area, the school itself was in a safe area, but if walked across a few blocks, you’d be in a real shitty part of town. Well, one Thursday, my buddies and I are out drinking. I get a pitcher for everyone and when I get back to our table, there’s an elderly black guy sitting there. That’s not unheard of for this bar. I sit down and start pouring beers. The guy is mean mugging the shit out of me and only me. So I ask him what’s up and introduce myself. He tells me he doesn’t want to know my name cause I’m probably a rat. I decide at this point in time that I don’t really want to associate with someone who worries about who is and isn’t a rat.

A couple pitchers later, I’m feeling pretty good. The dude is standing behind me and I try to apologize for before. He flips his shit, telling me that he’s going to fuck me up. He lifts up his shirt and shows me his gun. I’m 150 pounds, white and grew up in a nice suburb so I did the most logical thing. I tattled like a 7-year-old to the bartender. Bartender asks him to leave, the guy flashes his gun at the bartender. The bartender calls the police. The guy flashes his fucking gun at the police! They obviously arrest him and what do they find on his person? Shit ton of heroin.

13. Finger huntin’ ain’t easy

I own a pub and constantly an around late nights were lucky and have a great clientele, minimal incidents for how busy it is. In the same building in the back there is a smoke and lasers type nightclub with a punk venue in the basement. One night a big band was playing so there was a line up down the stairs to get in and see the show, this drunk kid decides to jump over this really fancy looking railing into the crowd on the stairs below. so he does the whole one hand on the railing and leaps below.

His pinky finger was between the top of the railing and the small piece of metal that was part of the railing design.

AS soon as he got over the railing, The railing RIPPED HIS PINKY finger off completely.

When the guy lands on the people about 8 feet below he freaks right out and starts punching everything in sight, blood everywhere.

The bouncers grab him no idea that his finger is stuck in the railing and they can’t figure out why there is so much blood everywhere. it was a good solid 20 minutes before the police arrived and they found his finger.

No idea if they were able to reattach it.

14. Entitled customers

Guy tried to fight me because I didn’t let him steal whiskey from behind the bar. He glassed me, and left. No stitches, I got lucky. Police don’t care. Fortitude valley.

15. McAsshole vs. College Douche

I was working in this bar back in college. It’s a hugely popular bar with the collegiate crowd, especially the university who’s campus was literally across the street. The place was always busy, even on Mondays for crying out loud. There was never a dull moment at this place.

One Friday night, after a big MLB game, the place is packed as usual. Locals and college students always made for a very interesting and volatile mix. It’s around 1am and almost everyone in the joint is heading towards that fun stage of drunk along with the sprinkling of assholes that are proper drunk. Cue McAsshole #1 and College Douche #2 sparking off about some girl. The two guys get into a big shoving match and luckily the bouncers pull them apart before fists can really fly.

We go to chuck them out, but trouble arises because of their respective groups of bros wanting to get into it and our bouncers who really want to avoid a brawl. Aside from the traditional tatted up bouncer, we also hire college kids to bounce as well. One of the college kid bouncers was head cooler that night and gets the bright idea to have McAsshole #1 and Douche #2 to arm wrestle each other to decide who stays and who gets stepping. As I said before, we wanted to avoid a brawl and he felt like this was the best way to diffuse the situation as according to him, College Douche started the whole problem.

Faster than you could say Jaeger Bomb, college door guy had a table and two chairs set out right in the middle of the main door area and ushered McAsshole and Douche to the chairs. “You two are gonna arm wrestle to decide who stays and who goes. Whichever guy loses has to get his buddies and get out. We don’t tolerate fights and don’t want problems. You guys are gonna settle it like men in front of all these people.”

College Douche gets his ass BEAT and goes down pretty quickly to McAsshole. It was hysterical and the entire bar loved the whole thing. Douche was totally humiliated and grabbed his fratty bros and got stepping pretty fast. In all, it was the best fight diffuser I had ever seen. I made sure College Cooler got some nice tips that night and free drinks after work. I still laugh my ass off whenever I think about it.

16. How to get out of a bar tab 101

I was near the backdoor to our smoking patio about to head out for a cigarette. Five cops came in, walked straight to the bar and cuffed a guy sitting there with his buddies. They then walked through the whole bar, looked everywhere and at all the inventory, behind all the shelves, didn’t say a word to the bar manager then left. Very odd

17. It was real, not a costume

I wasn’t bartending at the time, but I picked up occasionally at this bar.

It was Halloween and the bar was pretty slow. This dude comes in dressed all normal, but covered in blood. Shittier costumes exist. Turns out he murdered his brother shortly before at the apartment complex around the corner. He just came in and had a few drinks and left.

18. Well, that’s classy

I worked at a shitty night club that hosted hen’s parties on Saturday nights. The usual scenario would be three or four separate groups of drunk, screaming women being entertained by a troupe of the cheesiest male strippers you can imagine. Fun some nights, but mostly awful, especially if you weren’t having a few cheeky drinks yourself.

The most memorable of these shifts was the night a particularly classy bride-to-be (who had earlier collapsed onto a table, knocking it over and smashing about 15 champagne glasses) managed to pass out in the ladies bathroom (not in a cubicle), and shit all over herself.

To her misfortune, most of her group of friends saw her in that state, as they all rushed in to make sure she was okay. The manager and a couple of floor staff were also witness to the happening.

Unfortunately for him, the funniest part of the whole affair was seeing our magnificent bastard of a bouncer (who had just arrived for his shift wearing a crisp, white shirt) have to carry her up the stairs.

She was picked up by her fiance. What a start to the rest of your life.

19. It…was the best birthday of his life

Not a bartender, but my ex husband was. Having been to his bar many times, I had developed a bit of knowledge of the regulars. The bar was nothing more than a old hole in the wall frequented by hookers, drug heads and old time railroad workers. One old man in particular was very sweet. He was quiet, polite and usually just drank beer. Sometimes he would partake a rum and coke.

Well, his birthday came up. We’re talking his 76th birthday, and everyone decided they were going to throw a giant bash to celebrate this much loved regular. He was everyone’s grandad in a sense there. So it gets rolling. Drinks are being drank. Darts and Pool are being played. Music is streaming from the Juke box and he’s getting a lap dance. Old man is grinning ear to ear.

So I’m at the bar kind of helping out when needed, usually meant grabbing cases of beer from the cooler and wiping down tables. I look over to “Mickey” and he’s sitting in the special leather chair we set for the party for him and he’s lolling his eyes and getting slack jaw. I motion my ex husband and I walk over to Mickey, tap him on the shoulder and pulled the drink from his hand. Suddenly Miss Tittie Tassles comes over and begins to grind up the old man, “Hey CUTIE! I’ll wake him up…OH MY GOD!” She screams and jumps off of him. Her ass is covered in piss. Suddenly a smell hits me. Old man peed and crapped his pants in the leather recliner.

It was every where. Streaming down the sides and under the cushion. I guess he came to when the other 3 regulars who knew him started to help him out of his chair and back to his house because all he was doing the whole way down the stairs was apologizing.

And that’s the moment I remembered I had dishes to wash back at home.

20. That’s not cool

I was a bartender for about two weeks once. I’m allergic to alcohol (only when consumed) and didn’t have any real interest in learning to mix drinks, but a friend really needed the help and offered to teach me a new skill so I agreed.

Worst mistake ever.

It was this shitty little bar in a town of around five thousand people. Even for a town with only three bars, two of which changed owners every couple months, it had a reputation. Hard asses, suicide cases, and young idiots trying to win a dare went to this bar. Cops were there every night of the week and sometimes repeating visits on the same shift. A fucking nightmare. In fact, there were only three murders the entire ten years I lived in this town and every one of them was linked to this bar in one way or another.

I witnessed one of them. Or at least I think I did. A week and a half after I started working, one of our regulars came in. He wasn’t a tatted up parolee, biker, drug dealer or any of the normal shit, but people knew not to fuck with him. Whenever someone started shit with this guy, they got a free ambulance ride. He never got charged though, because he always goaded them into tossing the first punch and he quit the moment they hit the ground. (I guess that’s legally important, because the cops always said it was self-defense.)

Anyway, one night a couple off-duty cops cop in. They still had the uniforms on, but not the utility belt. No radios, guns, mace, any of that shit. I guess they didn’t want anyone trying to start shit with them and used the badge to ward off the bigger idiots. It worked. Everyone kinda went quieter as the cops strode in, watching nonchalantly as they made a beeline for the guy nobody fucked with.

My spidey-sense was tingling. Something was up, though I was too new to say what. I started pouring beers and tried to pretend I didn’t feel like a pair of tigers had just strolled into the bar. Seriously, skeeved me the fuck out.

For five or so minutes, the cops keep it pretty buddy-buddy with the fight ender, then they start arguing. It’s almost nothing at first. A little flush on their cheeks, whispers that were more urgent than a friendly chat required.

The regular seemed to be trying to ignore them, like everyone else. Then he started getting drawn in; arguing back, shaking his head. Out of curiosity and self-interest, I poured him another beer and walked over for a casual “Everything alright?”

All three of them tried to fry me with their gaze. Whatever the fuck was going on, I wasn’t welcome. Point taken. I went back to slopping beer for the rest of the dangerous pigs. Did I mention how much these assholes loved to beat each other up? ‘Cause it was mind blowing to a 20-something with a strong desire not to get knocked the hell out on a regular basis. It was like they hadn’t even heard of concussions or brain damage or jail or any of the million things that should have kept them out of this bar.

It didn’t take long after that. A fight broke out. The two cops tried to take on the regular at the same time, shouting incoherently as he pounded them both with effortless ease. He was a machine. Swing, connect, turn, repeat. Two guys, two cops, and he wasn’t holding back any more than he did for some meathead with roid rage.

Before I could even react, one of the cops was laid out cold and the other pulled a knife. He got a lucky jab in and the regular went down, clutching his abdomen. TV really gets the blood wrong. It was so fucking bright, squirting between his fingers.

The waitress called 911, made the report and tried to get the bouncers involved. They’d seen the knife and weren’t having anything to do with it. The stabber cop roused the other one, applied basic first aid and then helped the ambulance crew get it taken care of.

For a few days, I checked the paper and local news. I wanted to hear about the aftermath. I mean, off-duty cops stabbing a guy in a fight they started? Come on! This is America!

The regular didn’t come back before I left and the cops never showed up in any investigation or breaking news. No bar fight, no hospital stories, no crime-scene investigation. I heard a couple of the other regulars wondering about it too, but by the time I’d quit less than a week later nobody had any answers. My friend who owned the place said he checked it out and couldn’t find any answers either. I don’t know that I believe him. In any case, that was the end of my bartending career. I collected my last check, told my boss/friend to fuck off and never call me again and haven’t looked back. I still wonder about the regular who got stabbed though. He was a hell of a fighter, and I’m pretty sure he enjoyed busting heads, but nobody deserves to disappear.

21. The sight sobered him up quite a bit

I’m not a bartender but I saw something pretty crazy at a dive bar once. There was a trio of drunk Harley-type women at the next table.

We started talking and drinking together and eventually one of these chicks old men suggested that the “ladies” have a big nipple contest. Now I personally have never attended such a contest so I assumed that what was going to be measured was the areola. I was mistaken. The actual length of the nip itself was what this contest was about.

The unit of measurement for this contest was a stack of quarters. Boobs were taken out, nips were compared, three quarters, four quarters ,etc.

Suddenly I saw a sight that I can never unsee – the winner of this contest – NINE quarters long! They were like tiny penii! The sight sobered me up and I never want to see another big nipple contest as long as I live.

22. Didn’t see that coming

I has this one really weird guy come into the bar one day, he was in a walker, but not particular old, something very off about him. He came and sat at the bar with a plastic bag with some stuff in it. The man ordered his drink and proceeded to demand things from me everything I walked away, calling out my name every chance he had. He was also changing from seat to seat, sitting at different tables (which was particularly annoying with his walker) and talking to customers, disturbing them. I told him he has to pick one seat and stop bothering others. At some point, he went to leave for a cigarette outside before paying his bill when I told him, he will have to settle his tab if he wants to leave the bar. I proceeded to fight with me about it saying he left his plastic bag in the bar that had a brand new phone in it. I told him that it doesn’t matter and he then pulled out a huge wad of cash only to make a point that he had money and gave me significantly less than his bill. When he finally agreed to settle the tab and came back in, I refused to serve him anymore. He then leaves and comes back with his crackhead girlfriend who start screaming at me for not serving him because he’s a “respectable” customer with money. He finally leaves and when cleaning the bar at the end of the night, my manager found his plastic bag which contained a crappy old flip phone and a presumably used fleshlight.

23. Yikes!

I am a guy who bartended at a joint in Duluth MN for a while.

  1. A nice middle aged couple comes in. They are staying at the hotel in the same complex as my bar. Only customers in the place that night. We have fun talking, and they get pretty wasted. The husband asks me what I think of his wife’s boobs. They are good. She asks me if I want to feel them, husband says “I really should” so I feel her huge boobs. Awesome. They start asking me questions about my sexuality, such as if I like to have my ass played with and if I’ve ever been with a guy. They are both hitting on me pretty hard, especially the husband. They ask if I want to come back to their room so that the husband can fuck me while the wife watches and masturbates. I politely declined… they leave and leave a room key behind with a note saying “in case you change your mind.”
  2. A cute regular girl comes into the bar constantly, and always hits on me to a creepy degree every night. She was cute enough and everything, but clearly a little bonkers, and she got pretty stalkish, as in finding where I live and leaving me panties on my doorstep. One night she comes in wearing a skirt and no panties. She sits back far enough to ensure I have a plain view of her vagina for hours. She tries to come behind the bar and grab my junk and tries to unzip my pants ” so she can blow me in front of everyone”. I decline her offer haha. She behaves herself for a while and then disappears for a while to the bathroom. She comes back and is silent but starting at me slyly. My phone starts blowing up and I have a dozen picture messages from a number I don’t know. It’s a ton of pictures of an ass with a butt plug in, fingers in, spread pussy lips, tits, ass spreading, and other such dirtiness. But the pictures were obviously taken by someone else. I saw that it was this girl who had been creeping me for months in the pictures. She asks me if I like them and such and as honored as I was to get pictures from a hot yet crazy girl I didn’t really acknowledge them and tried to let her down easy and say she was cut off. Then a heavyset lady comes in and sits next to her. It turns out it was her mom. Her mom asks me what I thought about the pictures. It was the mom who was the photographer in the bathroom with her. Apparently the apple did not fall far from the crazy tree in that case.

I could go on forever about some of the stuff ive seen. Ill try and think of some more of the better ones ive seen. As a wrap up, I’ve broken up dozens of fights, outdoor blow jobs, and the most insane shit you could ever imagine in your life in my 9 years bartending. Be nice to your servers and bartenders, we deal with some of the craziest situations and people in the world. I have had bottles thrown at me, knives pulled, guns pulled, men and women both beind lewd and harassing and stalking of me… it’s a crazy life but it pays the bills. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Read this for more hilariously horrific drunken tales.

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