Although the house no longer remains many witnesses claim they can hear the screams and cries of Virginia begging her husband for mercy.

From Vogue calling 2014 the era of the big booty, to Twitter proclaiming Iggy and Macklemore the “King and Queen of Rap,” white people are claiming it all.

Go to brunch and see how exhaustingly average most people are. Invite an old friend to a flea market and remind yourself why you stopped hanging out with them.

I thought the word for a girl’s “private parts” was “bagina.”

You rarely assume that you can know or understand someone at first meeting, or even the second, or third.

Why not end an email with a quality signature line, an inspirational quote, or some wickedly random anecdote?

A vampire initially emerges as a soft blurry shape with no bones. He was “bags of blood” with red, glowing eyes and, instead of a nose, had a sharp snout…

Anything with the word “eye” in it can go anywhere near an eye, right?

Women always whisper the word “fat.”

Do this! Don’t do that. No, wait, don’t do that either.

Love: I love how well you pair yourself with dinner. Hate: I hate how you make me eat a whole pizza at 3am.

If the guy you want a relationship with is only calling or texting you on his way home from the bar, you’re better off just not responding.

You constantly get made fun of going to school “in cornfields.”

This might be the best one of them all.

We can relive and re-experience social pain more vividly than we can physical pain.

Tangled cords bring out the worst in everyone, especially if they happen to be Christmas lights.

You know the things that make you look and feel awesome.

As we all know, the best books are the ones that wholly consume us — and prevent us from doing anything else — until the final page has been turned.

Your metabolism and general energy levels are both beginning to turn on you.

14. Mississippi – From the Choctaw word meaning “Great water” or “Father of Waters.”

Are there any seven words more terrifying than the dreaded “can you hold him for a second?”