A bus didn’t hit him. He’s not laying in a ditch somewhere. Alien abductions aside, your promising new love interest probably has a far more ordinary reason for disappearing on you even if he seemed completely smitten. If you can safely rule out a bear attack or that he’s in a hospital bed with amnesia, the below explanations should be considered.
1. His past was not in the past. You may have been available and ready to meet someone but he wasn’t. He received a call or ran into an ex who suddenly seemed like the person of his dreams. How can he be so ready to jump back into the arms of a person who left him high and dry? It’s a quick fix to the frustrating world of dating, to be with someone familiar and have a chance to mend his bruised ego that was wounded in the initial break-up.
2. He’s lazy. Making the effort to see you again doesn’t seem like a priority. He’d rather sit on his couch, order in pizza, and watch long stretches of uninterrupted television shows than figure out your next plan. Dating is too exhausting for him. If a guy won’t call after a good date, there’s little hope for a satisfying relationship.
3. He lost his phone. This excuse is valid for 24 hours and only if he doesn’t have your email address or believe in social media. Most human beings have a way to connect with people even if their smart phone goes missing.
4. He got unexpectedly busy. Another 24 hour pass, but this one would not excuse the ability to send a quick text or email alerting someone that he’s still alive and wants to see you again.
5. He lost interest. Very high on the list of reasons why you never heard from him again. What seemed like a promising, fun and chemistry-filled evening has fizzled a bit during a busy workweek. It’s not because of anything you did. It’s mostly the passage of time that allowed for the rebalancing of hormones, diminished adrenaline, and the next happy hour where attractive people are present.
6. He was on the fence. You had a decent enough time and you’re willing to give it another date or two. No immediate sparks but no reason to rule him out altogether. He felt the same way but went in the other direction.
7. It was something you said. Maybe you insulted a close friend of his without knowing it. Or you mentioned your collection of friends’ baby teeth, your pet spider collection, or your desire to join a cult.
8. There were deal breakers. Were you different religions? Did you have contrasting views on whether to have kids? Perhaps he didn’t want to waste any more time getting involved in a relationship that would inevitably fail.
9. Take a number. He just hasn’t gotten around to calling you yet as he’s been on four other dates since he saw you three days ago.
10. You seem way too seasoned. After dating a ton, you approach meeting new prospects as a job. You’re asking, “Do you know this person or that person?” and “What do you do?” before the guy can even take his coat off. You’re firing off questions a mile a minute and he can barely catch his breath.
11. Your kissing styles don’t mesh. He’s into wet smooches and you couldn’t be more repulsed. He senses that you’re not compatible in the bedroom.
12. You’re tech-obsessed. Did you have your phone on the table the whole time during your dinner date? Did you constantly check your Facebook and Twitter feed and text a few friends in between courses? He was quite insulted.
13. You’re perfectly nice but he’s not interested anyway. He was looking for some heart flutters and thunderbolts to appear between the two of you but his expectations were shot. Nothing you can do but move on. He’s probably not over his ex.
14. Were there grooming issues? Did you forget to put deodorant on, brush your teeth, or wear the same pants that you’ve slept in for the last two weeks? Chances are your date did not find this particularly attractive and he certainly doesn’t want to take things further with you physically.
15. Something terrible or life-changing happened. Ok, fine. For the very, VERY small chance that your new love interest disappeared because of something extremely unusual, I’ll throw you a bone or two. Yes, the Federal Witness Protection program may have suddenly decided to give your date a new identity. The FBI swooped in without warning and whisked your guy away. He was offered a spur-of-the-moment cruise around the world and didn’t have time to notify anyone and there’s no Wi-Fi or phone service on the ship. He had a heart attack at the gym. He came out of the closet. He took a vow of abstinence. He was kidnapped. He got lost in the woods. Pick one of these and stick with it. Repeat it to yourself daily when you’ve rechecked your phone for the 80th time and still haven’t heard from him. Then wish him well (assuming he’s alive) and move on.