33 Weird Thoughts Every Woman Starts Having In Her Mid 20s

God & Man

1. “Is it normal to hate everybody? Are the people around me insufferable or is it just me?”

2. “I don’t know why there aren’t nutrition labels on wine bottles but I support whatever that reason is.”

3. “So I really have no idea how to save for retirement or what’s best for my credit score or what the difference is between CDs or other accounts they talk about on the commercials, but I’m financially stable enough not to have to ask my dad for help, so I’m just gonna wait until that’s not the case anymore or I’ll just WikiHow everything. That’s basically the game plan.”

4. “Would what I am doing right now be called trashy in some circles? Because I’m thinking yes.”

5. “Or I can just find somebody really really rich, marry them and maintain a very happy surface level relationship and never worry about a thing again.”

6. “I have $50 in my checking account and payday is on Friday, I can absolutely afford a shopping spree with you, former college roomie who came to visit!”

7. “Wtf am I supposed to do when my best friend gets married?”

8. “I’m literally not happy for you at all, happily betrothed people on Facebook. You’re just settling for each other and we all know it.”

9. “I got my period, THANK GOD.”

10. “I’m glad I’m single right now, I’m on a spiritual journey, I’m finding myself, this is what life is about.”

11. “I wonder what people think of me when they look at my Instagram. *Checks own Instagram 4x per day* I think they think I’m cool.”

12. “What am I supposed to do with my pubic hair?”

13. “I’d rather start telling people I’m a vegetarian than admit I have no idea how to cook basically any form of meat.”

14. “What exactly constitutes alcoholism? Like, be specific.”

15. “Do people actually enjoy going out?”

16. “… Because most of my social life revolves around going places and responding to texts just to keep up appearances.”

17. “So the problem with the world seems to be that people don’t really grow up, they just pretend they know all while maintaining the attitudes and mindsets they had in high school. I may be included in this group of people, but at least I’m aware.”

18. “I’m not going to that wedding because I would rather spend $250 on H&M and sushi than people I barely know. So suck it.”

19. “Am I the only one whose primary concern about moving in with a significant other is sharing a bathroom and having them know when you poop? Like, okay right we’re all adults, but tell me you’re all not a little anxious about this.”

20. “I want a routine. I think I need a routine.”

21. “At what point is one considered emotionally unstable? Like, be specific.”

22. *To your best friend* “Everybody’s stupid except for us.”

23. *To yourself* “Everybody’s a mess except for me.”

24. *To your parents* “Everybody’s a mess except for me.”

25. “I would go after what I want, I just don’t know what I want, but like if I did, I would be going for it. So.”

26. “So my closet currently consists of something to wear to an interview, a funeral, out for drinks, out for brunch, chic plane travel, messy but cute train travel, cute sweats so somebody can see me looking effortlessly gorgeous while we’re cuddling… basically I just buy things for hypothetical situations I make up in my head and call it having my life together. Try me.”

27. “I’d be an amazing mom.”

28. “I really don’t want to give birth tho. No part of that process sounds appealing.”

29. “I’m really glad I’m not a celebrity because my ‘running errands’ look is not okay.”

30. “I’m still going to walk around to music pretending I am one though.”

31. “If I’m going to drop it all and become a model/movie star, now is the time. I should just do it. I don’t want to stand on line at casting calls though. Nevermind.”

32. “My ex getting married before me is going to induce a quarter life crisis/my personal demise.”

33. “I’m still going to stalk the pictures though. Never too old for that shit.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – New Girl

Part time writer. Full time bad ass bitch. Brunch-having New Yorker.

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