There comes a time in every man’s life when a switch will flip in his head and his brain will function differently when it comes to women. That time has certainly come for me. If it’s already happened for you, too, then you already know these; if not, here’s what you can expect:
1. You see a pretty woman and you automatically look at her… hand.
Sure, her eyes or her smile may initially grab your attention, but the first thing your eyes start heading for is her hand — specifically her left hand; specifically her ring finger. Once you hit a certain age, engagements and marriages aren’t that uncommon. There is the possibility that a ring on that finger isn’t an engagement ring, and she just wears a ring on that finger. It’s also been brought to my attention that some women may intentionally wear a ring, so that guys steer clear. Odds are though, if there’s a ring on it, she’s most likely locked down.
2. She has a child and you think, “Oh, OK,” not “Oh, hell na.”
I don’t know why some guys look at single mothers like damaged goods. You have no idea what her story is. Yes, the father could be some low-life thug and she could have some issues; or she could be a perfectly sane individual who was with her boyfriend for years and it just didn’t work out. Once you hit your mid-to-late-20s, women with children will become increasingly more common (more common than your teens, at least); some men realize this and figure it’s not an automatic deal-breaker, while some choose not to bother with it. (Note: There’s a difference between understanding that it’s more common for women to have children and preferring not to date a single mother, and swearing off all single mothers because you think they have to be drama-ridden.)
3. You literally get exhausted from “the game.”
After a certain age, you just don’t have time — figuratively or literally — to deal with certain things. You like me and I like you? Good, let’s get together. All of the little games you used to think you had to play (or enjoyed playing) now give you headaches.
4. You feel decades older, maturity-wise, than most girls under 21.
Quick disclaimer: This is not to say that every girl under the age of 21 is immature. Ladies, unfortunately, some of your fellow late-teens and 20-year-olds have polluted the lot of you for some guys. It’s not your fault; it’s theirs. Think of when girls say, “All guys are douchebags,” when you know that not all guys are. A few douches just polluted the lot of us. I’m not opposed to dating someone younger than me, but I definitely look at younger girls differently after interacting with some of them more through the years.
5. You start looking for what she brings to the table.
During your younger years, you may allow a girl’s beauty to make up for a lot of what she may lack on the overall spectrum. Not great at conversation? “Eh, not that big of a deal.” Not the brightest bulb in the box? “Eh, not that big of a deal.” Once you reach a certain age, these things became necessities in a relationship and a woman’s physical appearance becomes less important. Instead of things like, “What’s her cup size?” “How big is her butt?” “How hot is she?” you start looking for answers to questions like, “Is she employed?” “Is she intelligent enough to carry on an everyday conversation?” and most importantly, “Does she have her life together?” Priorities, man. Priorities.
6. Before committing to a relationship, you think, “Is there a future with her?”
Typically, when you’re a teenager, you want a girlfriend for one of two reasons, or both: (a) You want to be able to say you have a girlfriend; (b) You’re hoping that the relationship will lead to sex. As you get older, you care less about just having sex and more about whether or not you see any kind of a future with her.
I developed this trait at a very early age, mostly because I began dating a young woman with a child; it was a question I had to ask myself. With that relationship over and myself now in my mid-20s, it’s a question I now ask myself with any potential beau. I’ve been telling a couple of my friends that I have a feeling I’ll end up marrying the next girl I’m in a relationship with because I think that it will take me a while to be sure I want to commit myself to her for even a relationship (that will be one of the next articles).
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a lifelong bachelor or just not wanting to settle down immediately. There’s also nothing wrong with going from relationship to relationship, so long as you’re faithful while you’re in them (in my opinion). Personally, I just don’t see the point of committing to someone if you don’t see any kind of a future with her. I’m not saying you need to know your first week into the relationship or anything, but there should be something you see in her that makes you feel like you can spend a long-term future with her if you want to devote your time and care for her, choosing to leave the strings-free single life in the process.