There’s the kind that’ll leave you wanting.

Don’t believe it. Your stubborn rejection of reality will give your body enough time to adjust accordingly.

1. Try to ignore the tiny panic attack that’s telling you the rest of your day is deemed ruined and unproductive.

“What?” you say. “But I desperately wanted to pay for this extremely expensive meal rather than buy groceries for a month!”

Running from cement factory security dogs. Abandoning people when things get messy. Being a murky dude. Friendly gay bars. Writing real life fan-fiction. Filming real life fan-fiction. The heaviness of…

“I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight, and I’ve already broken that promise five times. But I will not break it a sixth.”

The truth inside you will win out eventually. Or it will drive you mad. Your truth isn’t a passing thought or feeling that will just dissipate one day. You won’t…

Enjoy having too much. Too much Jack Daniels. Too much love. Too much dancing. Too much work. Too much procrastination. Too much time. Too much responsibility. Too much insecurity. Too…

If Jesus and Debbi Fields had a prodigy baker child, it would be responsible for creating these heavenly (get it?) morsels.

It’s about finding that perfect pop song to put your top down to in the summer and sing-a-long with.

Understanding the art of self-disclosure will get you far with your crush. Trust me. Whenever you’re worried that you’ve said too much, chances are you probably have, so zip it!…

We’ve all seen Lying on the Beach Selfie, Sexy Pouty Face Selfie and I’m Still in Bed But Somehow I Look Pretty Selfie, but what about the other moments you…

When men suppress their emotions and shun intimacy, the only women whose emotions are intense enough to break through are women who are emotionally unstable.

My apartment had never seemed more cold. It had never felt less like the place I actually lived, or more like a vague insult to my current state of aloneness.

Love is not the answer.

From Julio Cortázar to Virginia Woolf to Luna Miguel and Andy Warhol, these are authors and books I love.

Too many religious communities, the one in which I grew up included, prize–more than service to and advocacy for the oppressed–pre-marital virginity. To “lose your virginity” before your wedding day…

Any time you catch yourself day-dreaming about what it would be like to be with them, give yourself a slap in the face. I’m not kidding. Nothing is realer than…

Olenna Redwyne, Mirri Maz Duur, Quaithe, Catelyn Stark, Jhiqui…

3. Be there. Friends can get really good at disappearing on each other, as we learn to take peoples’ presence for granted.

I think that people start caring about us when we stop caring about them, as sick as it is. We move up and down in these odd games of power,…

An essay is a lot like a military operation. It takes discipline, foresight, research, strategy, and, if done right, ends in total victory.

5. If they’re talking about their ex all the time, they are not over their ex.

There’s no perfect path for your life that you have yet to uncover. You simply must “do you.” This takes endless sacrifice and a hell of a lot of heart.

Wonder Woman embodies the contradictions of any female hero in popular culture.

29) Skipping class. Giving some lame-ass excuse about why you missed. Expecting to just roll into the final exam and pass everything. In real life, you can’t skip that much…

How could a CatDog even happen? Why didn’t they ever separate? What is the meaning of life?

8. Overweight men deserve a chance to be loved for every facet of their personality and life, but no fatties for me.

Being cheated on makes you look at more questions than you would ever have willingly asked yourself.

Men, as a general precept, are exponentially less likely to ask for affirmation or demand it, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need to hear it.

While they appreciate a little effort, they don’t want the morning after to become a twisted game of Chatroulette. Let them know what they’re getting: the real you.

Hi, my name is Jeffrey and I’m looking for the love of my life. In my head, she is a mix of Lake Bell, Jenny Slate and the Jewish woman…

This must be something else if it’s not heartbreak. Heart-scraped knees. Heartbruise.

A white person doesn’t think of themselves as white. White people are just people.

I’m trying to come up with normal things to text you.

6. “You’re a regulation hottie….Own it.”

I want to be in love. I want to get it over with so that I can move along to all of the other parts of life that seem so…

People always ask me if the books I carry around are for school because they’re full of notes, flags and folded pages–why would anyone work so hard on something they…

You fell asleep watching a DVD, and the menu is constantly replaying. It’s really annoying.

Look at what you want to perpetuate to other people, when you yourself can’t find the words. What strikes you most is who you are.

Pore over the ways that you have successfully made friends in the past.

4. When you observe “friends” who so obviously like each other as more than friends.

Unfortunately, for those who clearly went to the Compliment Into The Cooter School of Sexual Prowess, we are not items on a Chuck E Cheese prize shelf which can be…

2. Do something active. I know this may seem silly but exercise does give you endorphins.

“I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves.” – Mary Wollstonecraft

Decide your “why” for working. If you want to make a lot of money, be willing to potentially sacrifice time, effort, and personal satisfaction.

Even now that gluten-intolerance is more mainstream, it’s still a tricky thing to date with. As are nut allergies, celiac disease, lactose intolerance, and the great granddaddy of them all:…

We know that if we eat whole, clean, nutritionally dense foods, we will feel better.

“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.” — Frank Zappa.

I wrote a novel about the Olsen twins and You’ve Got Mail and Peter Gallagher.