Thought Catalog

To The Girls Who Never Dreamed About Marriage

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Most little girls grow up dreaming of their perfect wedding day. What dress they will wear, the shoes, the food and who will be invited. I was not one of those little girls.

Ever since I could remember, I never really dreamt of my perfect wedding. In the past few months, I’ve been giving the idea of marriage a thought. Being almost twenty-two, I’ve seen my cousin get married to my cousin-in-law and she’s just twenty five. Another one of my cousin in law is twenty-seven.

I’ve also noticed an alarming thing on my Facebook statuses of “I’m getting married!” with a picture of a ring to boot. Now, let me be the first to say, CONGRATS!!! Now that the initial congratulations are done, I realize that these lovely women are in their late teens to early twenties. WHAT THE HELL!?
Being born in to an Indian society, a girl of my age should be thinking of getting married soon. I’m here to tell you as an almost twenty-two year old that I don’t believe in marriage. For me, it is a cringe worthy idea. The whole idea is just insane. Here are the reasons why:

Divorce Rates: At least half of the marriages end up in divorce. During the wedding ceremony, right before the bride and groom say “I Do,” the priest might as well go ahead and say, “Oh, by the way, you will most likely divorce in the next 2-3 years.”

Cheating: I hate to say it, but at some point, someone is going to stray from their vows and cheat on the next hot piece of ass. Um… remember that whole fidelity thing you promised your spouse on your wedding day? Yea, that went right out the window. Okay, before you all jump the gun and come after me with a pitch fork, I realize that not everyone cheats on their partner. However, how many of you can tell me that you have not though about that cute woman or guy you passed by in the subway? Or even have a dirty thought about your best friend who is not your spouse?

Enjoy Life: Now, if you’re eighteen or in your twenties, why settle down? Pursue a degree and/or a career. Travel, drink as many moscato wines and mimosas you can. Fall in love, fall out of love, get a tattoo, do something wild and crazy. Pretty soon, reality will come knocking on your door, and you’re going to get on the straight and narrow path and get a job and pay off those student loans and make something of yourself. Do you really want to be a housewife and wait on your husband, hand and foot?

Kids: Once you get married, it’s like all you see are babies. Babies here, babies there, babies everywhere! The next time you’re going to go to a family event and you see your nieces, nephews and little cousins, someone is going to ask you that dreadful question. “When do you plan on having a little bundle of joy of your own?” *Faint* Um, Mom/Grandma/Aunt So and So, I can’t even take care of myself! How am I supposed to take care of a kid? It costs way too much to raise a kid, feed it, clothe it, educate it and send it off to college. All I want right now is sleep, get drunk, and try to save up for that trip to Florida and a car that I really want. Besides, I keep forgetting to feed my fish. FISH! Fish, the easiest pets in the world, and you expect me to take care of a baby? Yea, um no. I think I’ll pass on that one. I just met my four year old niece for the first time a few months ago. She is ALL the birth control I need.

Independence: I have two and a half degrees for my BA degree and then it’s straight to getting a Master’s degree. Then, I have to get a job to support myself and pay off those ugly loans. Then, I want to get a nice little apartment and car. I want to travel and explore. I want to have fun and explore. I don’t want to be tied down to a husband and kids. The whole notion is just irksome. By the time, I am done with school and hopefully have a stable career; I should be twenty-five or twenty-six. In a short four years, I will be thirty… I like my freedom, sleeping in, having fun and not having to worry.

After all’s been said and done I’m the type to get terrified and squeamish about the idea of marriage. It’s not for me. However, if I ever find a man who will make me feel like I’m on Cloud Nine and head over heels in love with him and none of us could ever dream about cheating and divorce, I will marry you in a heartbeat. I want the type of man who will make me smile just as soon as I see his text, as he crosses my line of vision and he is as sweet as can be, and respect me for me and my ideals as well as my mom. I still want someone who will make my heart race and I don’t think about what could happen between the sheets, but I can talk to him on a Friday night at 12am about anything. I want someone who is my best friend and who I know will be there for me for everything, through the good and the bad. Until then, I will not be getting married any time soon. TC mark

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