A tuxedo shirt.

Men are always staring into my face, staring into my mouth blaring red like it always does, and I want to stop and ask them, “What are you going to…

#facebook #twitter @lulz4lulz for forever:(

To the person that says, “Oh! It isn’t scanning! That must mean it’s free!” Every time someone tells that joke a cashier dies.

Lancome mascara.

I don’t know much about tattoos, besides the whole meaning behind them on a much deeper level.

We all know that women are sensitive. But not always for the wrong reasons.

3. The Prince Philip Movement is a religious sect in Vanuatu that believes Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh is a divine being.

8. It’s not just the young twenty-something party boys who are addicted. I started when I was 47 and almost lost everything before I was 50. The majority of gay…

Some days you just need to sing as loud as you possibly can.

The general public doesn’t believe the type of friendship you have truly exists. They refuse to. You’re like a mythical Pokémon or a bag of decently priced pistachios – something…

There will be people who move in with us and share the bed with us. They’ll be a best friend too. But it doesn’t mean you’re replaced.

1. Skipping ahead on a TV show that you began watching together.

Don’t let the extroverts get to you.

10. Dunkin’ Donuts is most likely your drug of choice.

In a comical effort to help aid myself (and the general public) of feeling like I am not the ONLY one that (repeatedly) gets myself into such obscene and uncomfortable…

Super simple, slight adjustments to your normal routine that will leave you feeling more free and empowered.

7. You’ve dominated your fair share of Marco Polo games in above-ground pools.

It’s high time we just took that giant table saw of democracy and severed Florida off to float in the Atlantic. Here is why.

Not sure if tears of joy or immense jealousy/ rage/ sadness.

“After what seemed like forever she reached the other side of the chasm and the hands went away.”

“Another black guy who is racist against his own people!” He blocked me immediately.

Treat me like I’m me, not like I’m going to shatter at every moment. That helps more than you could ever know.

2. I sent your mom an OkCupid message re: how I felt compelled to contact her on account of both of us listing “bacon” as one of our six things…

Hugging for just a second or two too long, so you’re not sure if they actually meant to do it or you just imagined it.

They cannot focus on one thing quite like the average person. Essentially, their stream of ideas is always running — the tap does not shut off — and, as a…

He said, “I may never be comfortable having a physical relationship with you and that’s something you need to be OK with.”

Just know that the first few nights you spend together, they really will want to cuddle up close to you and burrow themselves in your arms. They’ll want to, more…

We all face rejection in life. And sometimes, it really hurts getting rejected. Let these people help you.

The Washington Post put out stories on the best places to live as an expat weighing things like quality of life and the economy. But, I wanted to take it a…

People will ask you what you do for a living before asking how you’re doing.

He tells you that you’re the best thing in the world on Monday, and by Tuesday, he doesn’t see you at all, as if you don’t exist.

“Meet me at our special place. Don’t be late.” #creepy

5. When he hands you a clean STD screening!

You have a weakness for guys who play the acoustic guitar. You can trace this back to that hot counselor Joey who always played “Wonderwall” around the camp fire.

Your labels won’t save you or brand you as good. But understanding and even accepting the roots and systems of evil can help you better pursue the good.

Sure, there’s no way to optimize all of your best jokes before you say them, but at the same time, if they can’t accept you at your subpar witticisms, then…

Tinder is taxing. If you live in Brooklyn you’ll have to pass by around 400 chevron and 200 horseshoe mustaches before stumbling on a cutie…

Just, like, slip something in their drink. Not enough to incapacitate them (you’re not a monster, for f*ck’s sake), just enough to make them all mushy and agreeable.

It’s simple. I need to feel like a princess and how can I do that with Danny Devito-esque “men” tugging at my sleeves?

Some of these places are truly awe-inspiring.

Most people say, “Let’s still be friends” during a breakup because it sounds better than, “I can’t stand smelling your coffee-breath for one more minute and I’d appreciate it if…

Know this: there are very few obstacles that cannot be overcome. Hang in there and you will be amazed at what happens. You will achieve much of your success by…

It sounds silly, and maybe even looks silly, but it’s so worth it.

1. You’re not just the ‘way you are.’ If you don’t like something about yourself, you can change it.

He got freaked out when they started dumping fuel. Then they started a slow turn around. Not many passengers noticed the fuel, but most noticed the turn. He was mentally…

Great beauty begins with great skin. If you’re going to do ONE thing to get great skin, it’s exfoliating.

5. Rich white girls love free, unpaid internships in the fashion industry. I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve interviewed for internships at the magazine who tell me “Fashion…

Sometimes, life hits you with things that are best coped with by being all sad and looking at the window.

You aren’t going to feel on top of things all the time. But it’s just the human nature of things. And this song is there to remind you that there…