1. White girls love talking about growing up rich, especially in front of other rich white girls. They love bragging about having money or about how their parents paid for this or that or about how you shouldn’t hate them for what they have or were born into. Look, I’m white and I grew up with lots of money too. Yes, I have a seven figure trust fund. Yes, I went to Dalton from middle school through high school. But you don’t see me talking about it all the time. And no one knows, either. Why? Because it doesn’t define me, so take note, fellow rich white girls!
2. White girls love getting highlights :). I had so many highlights when I was younger. You should see the photos…
3. I wish someone could explain to me why rich white girls love ballet flats so much? All my interns wear ballet flats, and I just don’t get it. I’m a stilettos type of gal. White girls love Uggs, too, and if you ever wear these things to the office I will send you home.
4. White girls love joining sororities because it means they get to fellowship with other choice white girls! It also means galavanting around in fashion labels that mean absolutely nothing to everyone else in fashion but which have so much currency in your particular sorority.
5. Now time for the crown jewel. Rich white girls love nothing more than doing free, unpaid internships in the fashion industry. I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve interviewed for internships at the magazine and they are always like, “Fashion is my passion” or “I have always wanted to work in fashion.” That’s all fine, but can you get 12 bags of clothes across town in 20 minutes? Can you call these 47 fashion houses and make sure the samples get here by tomorrow at 10 a.m.? Can you dress a celebrity during a photoshoot without fucking texting or taking pictures or acting star struck?
6. Rich white girls love asking dad for money, often lying about what precisely they need the money for. It’s that or charging a bunch of stuff to dad’s card, hoping he won’t notice. I know because I did this all the time.
7. Cocaine. And if not cocaine, Ambien.
8. Taking carefully staged pictures of their outfits on Instagram, especially when they get a new piece, #Balenciaga!
9. Taking carefully staged selfies with their girlfriends on Instagram, #Besties!
10. Rich white girls love studying abroad. That or teaching English abroad. Imagine all the amazing photos you’ll get to take to document the experience.
11. We love getting offended and using being rich to buffer ourselves against race. “I grew up surrounded by rich white people, so my world view is limited/I don’t understand other races.” Please.
12. We love yoga pants, worn at any time of day too! Actually we only do yoga for the pants.
13. Taking opulent spring break vacations to places like St. Barts. Bringing two to three friends.
14. Taking your friends for a night out on the town and paying for bottle service for everyone.
15. Going on “spiritual journeys” by traveling around the world, joining a new religion, or taking an “ethnic dance class.”
16. Dating someone “bad,” “with less money,” or “of a different race” on purpose because you want to a) stick it to your parents b) slum it for a while or both.
17. The liberal arts college where they had a brief stint in lesbianism and joined a protest once.
18. Doing racist stuff and thinking it’s so totally not racist. Lighten up, everyone hehehe!
19. Wearing cute little jackets over dresses :)
20. KALE. Also cupcakes. Nobody is eating cupcakes except us rich white girls. And I’m not ashamed about it, either.