You read a lot about how important it is to be “sexually liberated” these days. More than ever, there’s an emphasis on being confident in your body, and not ashamed of being sexual as a woman. But sometimes it feels like the ways we’re told to go about doing this involve things that make a lot of us uncomfortable – like, we’re not all the type to go march in women’s rights protests, become lesbians, and burn our bras on street corners while hissing at men. What about the rest of us – you know, the normal women of the world? We’re the ones who just want to live our lives and somehow become more comfortable with our bodies at the same time. For us, here are 10 super simple, slight adjustments to your normal routine that will leave you feeling more free and empowered.
Be naked all the time
Wearing clothes is basically saying, “I hate my body and am afraid of my true nature as a sexual being.” Do you want to be someone who is controlled by hate and fear? Didn’t fucking think so. Be naked in as many of your daily activities as possible. At home, in public, wherever. If someone tries to dim your shine by saying things like, “Miss, this is Starbucks” or “There are children on this playground”, tell them you’re living beyond the sexual repressed norms of American culture and that maybe they should thank you for giving the children a body-positive role model.
Have sex with everyone
Literally everyone. The more sex you have (even with total strangers; especially with total strangers), the more thoroughly you will start to free yourself of the restraints that society has placed on your sexuality.
Don’t have curtains
You have nothing to hide. Not from your neighbors, nor from The Man, nor from yourself. You fully celebrate and embrace how you live, and you refuse to let anyone shame you into hiding it. Curtains are the most oppressive of all home décor.
Live tweet your period
Give blowjobs as tips
You own your sexuality the way basic bitches own money. And you have so much, and it’s so valuable, why not throw a blow at the waiter if he did an especially good job?
Have Girls viewing / masturbation parties
The only porn you get off to is body positivity, am I right? Invite all of your equally liberated friends! And no, Patriarchy, it’s not gay for women to all sit in a room masturbating together. Stop unnecessarily sexualizing female friendships, misogynist asshole.
Write an open letter to your vagina
Tell Her how excellent She is. Tell Her how She’s going to change the world. Tell Her not to take any shit from anyone. Submit it to Thought Catalog, who will publish anything.
Put a close-up photo of your nipple as your only Tinder pic
You aren’t afraid to get to the point of why people are on that app in the first place. Plus later, when you’re hooking up with a random you met on there, you can tell them how good it feels when they “swipe left”.
Tattoo one thumbs up on your face for each person you’ve had sex with
Because you aren’t ashamed of your Number.
Tape negative pregnancy tests to stop signs
As public art declaring that you are proudly on birth control.