So here I am, an almost-26-year-old-woman sitting alone in half darkness, writing this to you with Colgate Total all over my face. I’ve been Googling and self-diagnosing, and the internet…

There’s nothing worse than wearing pants—nudity is a wonderful thing. But you’re at your most vulnerable when you’re naked, at the mercy of emotions and the elements, which are both…

You’re so bored. It’s six p.m. and there is nothing good on T.V. so you want to have sex with someone. Depending on your situation, you will either have to…

Thanks to the internet, there are a myriad of different ways you can miss your ex. You can go on Facebook and lurk their life without you. Oh look, there’s…

After college, you’re thrusted into the real world to Find A Job and Be Self Sufficient, and in turn, you become aware that the people in this world think binge…

Bitches always think they’re so funny. Whenever they say something that was kind of screwed up, they’ll quickly be like, “That wasn’t bitchy. I was just making a joke!” Well,…

You’re eating a Subway sandwich with your friend when all of a sudden, you want to have sex with someone. You try to avoid it by focusing intently on your…

I can’t say it has been easy learning to live without you. Heading into year three, I can say I have started to make real progress. I can talk about…

Once you understand that you don’t have to get wasted, sleep with a random, and vomit in a trashcan to have a successful Friday night, you can actually get the…

New York is like a fucking college campus, down to catching your friend on her bi-weekly walk of shame while you’re on your way to work. You can hit it…

And finally, the real secret to dating (and life) is just to be the most amazing version of yourself possible. It sounds corny, but it’s true! Don’t be one of…

‘Melancholy’ is in and of itself a fascinating word. Visually, at least, it could be like a homophone of ‘symphony’, as in an assemblage of beautiful instruments, as it ends…

Among the amazing tidbits of information: Meth heads will always S your D whereas stoners never like to do it, Punky Brewster is the poster child for Ecstasy and cocaine…

The song is essentially all about moving out of your parents house and going away to college. I mean, she talks about spreading your wings and taking a risk, which…

You can relate to your friends who have been in relationships. There’s no longer this awkward divide between you two. You get it! All those times they bitched to you…

Look around campus and realize the breadth of notable alumnus: a slew of former U.S. Presidents, ambassadors, authors, artists, and CEOs. Jump at the thought that some of said luminaries…

Terrible movies that are totally awesome are the kind you either won’t admit to liking, or proclaim you like because you’re trying to be ironic. Terrible movies that are totally…

It’s interesting to think about why we were so willing destroy our bodies at seventeen. Being a teenager was all about “Yes. Give me that! Why not? I might projectile…

If I were a teenager or young adult back then, I would’ve been like, “Oh, TLC? Yeah, they totally invented the condom eye patch. Rad girls.” But I was a…

Get accepted into a “competitive” fellowship or internship or entry level lobbying position, whatever. Think this is it: it’s only a matter of time before you are saving the world…

Heightening the aforementioned emotional experiences is the ominous unanswered text message. Perhaps you’re just reaching out as a gesture of thoughtfulness, or perhaps it’s a deeper expression of longing, but…

Someone has power over you. They have the ability to make you sublimely happy and they can also make you feel super depressed. You lose slight control over your moods.…

I’ve thought a lot about whether or not to have sex on the first date, and a lot of people have told me that I ought to take things a…

Being either a gay man or a girl means there is a good chance you’re hungry right now. If you add “works in fashion”, you’re just straight up starving all…

On the most basic level, movies simply ask for a type of attentiveness that is hard to muster if you’re depressed. Cerebral films tend to have a lot of silences…

Facebook has no influence on the relationships that actually matter to me. It’s the people on the periphery who get to stick around past their expiration date. If I deleted…

Hot people are overrated. Even they will admit it and say, “Yeah. I’m not that great but my face is awesome. Wanna look at it a little bit more?” Ugly…

Comprised mostly of minimal instrumental tracks by music ventures from The Cure to Squarepusher, the feeling of the album is that of subtle sadness, hope, and overarching, nostalgic beauty. The…

Screw you, HBC, for making me feel that way. Screw you for making me irrational, hairless, enraged and depressed. Screw you for making me bleed like a stuck pig and…

Indeed, the two people in the Relationship for Show find each other almost by some self-organizing principal of reality, nature, society or culture; friends of the two are likely to…

They could never love you as much as you loved them. Maybe they could for awhile but it didn’t last. You started to notice it while lying in bed together.…

Indeed, events such as these are simply happenstance, and for this, the Stressed Out Girlfriend induces a sort of torture on her partner in which her partner must either become…

The end of a friendship is all about you. It’s nothing but you. It’s almost like a personal attack on your character. Someone who once thought of you as a…

While outward displays of masculinity, affability, confidence and power may be a regular part of the Insecure Boyfriend’s behavioral repertoire, the Insecure Boyfriend in fact has low self-confidence and extremely…

I am unsure of how to begin this letter. Most of our conversations are never words, rather actions: a smile between note-taking; looking at each other over cups, your coffee…

Being away from everyone you’ve gone to school with since you were 4 helps you sort out those worth coming home for and those worth forgetting. That is, if you…

Fact: Your parents always call you when you’re high. They have a sixth sense for when their children are killing brain cells. Dateline instilled it in them or something.

My Self- Summary: I hate writing these things/I suck at describing myself/I am not at all good at this but here goes nothing… I’m an easygoing guy. I love a…

Ambien is a fatass. It puts weed munchies to shame. You could have eaten a huge dinner and it still wouldn’t matter because when the Ambien hits, a ravenous hunger…

I wasn’t born rich or powerful enough to be initiated into the world of networking from an early age, so I always misunderstood it.  When I dropped out of high…

The problem with weed is that it gets into your head and starts making you ultra self-aware to the point where your sensitivity to social cues is literally tormenting. It…

The annoying things I hate about the person develop into the cute things I love about the person, and before I know it I lose all feeling of control, and…

i tried to comfort myself with these thoughts: i won’t get hurt because it doesn’t really make sense to think that will happen.  most men want to have sex with…

I happened upon Requiem for a Dream at the local video store, and I’m pretty sure I was filled with tears by the end. It was so damn sad the…

The first few weeks of school will feel like summer camp. Everyone is just so open and ready to meet their future best friends. Leave your door open and play…

His earliest appearance on the first season of Family Matters in 1989 was supposed to be a one-time cameo, but his performance was a hit, and he became the true…

Child celebrities are notorious for disappointing us once they become adults. But the following actresses have not only remained successful (with the exception of Molly Ringwald), but have also appeared…

Four years since my last Murakami book, I now see his books being read everywhere by everyone. His books have become a household item like a fork or spatula; they…

Best Coast’s Crazy For You is the perfect sex record for twee couples who aren’t actually that sexual. They just like to stare in each other’s eyes and play with…

Brian Krakow. Hesitantly dated a mostly unsatisfying high school senior post-graduation and lost his virginity, but had to break up with her to pursue his rigorous and immediate program of…