1. You are a true professional sneaky person and skillful fibber because your parents forced you to beat your craft throughout the years, whether that meant sneaking out or concocting a detailed plan to fabricate your whereabouts.
2. In high school you were the person who had an absurdly early curfew that required you to be home before the local evening news aired. You weren’t even given that opportunity to make live, local late breaking news for acting a fool because you were in your bedroom.
3. They always had your back, but to the point where it led to embarrassment on occasion. If any of your peers gave you a hard time, even if they were kidding, your parents weren’t amused or afraid to voice their dissatisfaction.
4. You’ve never experienced terror like receiving double digit missed calls/text messages in a scarily short span from a disgruntled parent who wants to know where you are and tell you where you need to be.
5. Your parents knew your login info on any internet related accounts you had. Also they enforced parental controls and monitored your web habits.
6. You didn’t get the opportunity to experience a sleepover unless it was taking place in your home, under your parents’ supervision.
7. Anyone you wanted to date had to be intensely screened and approved of. That, or dating in its entirety was off limits.
8. There was a point where you weren’t allowed to watch something silly because of overreactions. Sabrina The Teenage Witch was promoting sorcery, WWF’s ‘Attitude Era’ was too explicit because of Stone Cold Steve Austin’s middle fingers, and Jumanji VHS tapes were banned from your home because it was promoting the devil’s wicked shenanigans.
9. When you went through your experimental, bad behavior phase, it was to the extreme. Like, to the point where even your most rebellious, defiant friends had to tell you to chill out.
10. In some instances it may’ve been a struggle for you to understand people who were different from the traditions you knew, and that had a lot to do with being unable to watch, hear or meet several types of people when you’re sheltered.
11. You weren’t taught how to drive around 15 or 16 like most kids. Your parents delayed your ability to operate a vehicle for as long as possible.
12. In middle school you heard other kids use vulgar words or make gestures that you didn’t fully understand, then accidentally used ’em yourself. For example, in 6th grade I playfully called someone a ‘dildo’ because I’d heard another kid say it, thought it was a funny word and assumed it was like the 2.0 upgraded version of ‘butthead’ or something. My teacher’s reaction made it clear that my assumptions were false. Though this is kind of a bad example because I had no business knowing what a ‘dildo’ was at age 10 anyway.
13. Making plans isn’t something you’re big on these days and that’s because parental restrictions didn’t allow you to commit to invites, so you got in the habit of not penning your schedule in advance.
14. You’ve become somewhat of a worrier because their paranoia has lingered on and turned your imagination into a painstaking, worst-case scenario maker.
15. Piercings, unique hairstyles and tattoos weren’t even worthy of wasting a quality “Can I” on. You limited asking for stuff to potentially grantable requests — and holes, dye or ink were out of the question.
16. At the time it felt uncomfortable and restricting but now you realize that your parents & their stern rulebook had your best interest in mind, even if they seemed/were like prison wardens. Yes, there may be a better middle ground but big picture, you’d take your carefully guarded upbringing over having Matilda-esque, crappy, uncaring parents, any day.