I Love You Like Kanye Loves Kanye


I love you like Kanye loves Kanye, with that kind of confidence where I know I’ve found something good. Where I’m not afraid to admit that what I have is love, that it may be boastful and it may be arrogant and it may be strange for other people to think that I could be so head over heels — but if you really believe something is true, does it matter what other people think? I love you in ways where I think I could risk anything, where love takes over in a heady sort of rush, where everything seems wild and clever and inventive in the moment. At least it does to me. Maybe that’s what they call passion.

I love you like Kanye loves Kim, in the way that doing really cheesy things just seems second nature now. Where if I can’t laugh at myself and how much I love you, then who can? Because maybe wild horses really wouldn’t be able to drag me away from you, and maybe I just don’t know how to express myself any other way. Because the endless ways in which I could say I loved you just don’t seem to suffice, and I have to rely on the cliché.

I love you like like Beyoncé loves Jay, because I never stopped being me and you never stopped being you, we just ended up being even better together. It’s a quiet kind of reassurance, you know, in the way that no matter what you do or how you do it, I’ll still be there for you, and you’ll be there for me. It’s knowing you don’t have to share every second of every minute of every hour of every day, because some things are special and some things are worth hiding away. Just for the two of us. Just for the life we’ve created within each other. And I love you like Jay loves Beyoncé, because though I might not always be vocal about it, you’ll know I’m there and that everything you do makes me proud.

I love you like Taylor would love you, because everything always feels new. Because every time I look at you still feels like the first time, and silly little love stories seem real, because once upon a time, they must have been, right? Where we can make all of these new memories together, and even if we fight, there’s a silver lining somewhere. Where even if we’re not a forever kind of love, what we had was real and true. But because I love you, I don’t want to focus on the end. I want to live in the here and now, and devote myself unabashedly to you.

I love you like Romeo and Juliet fell a little too hard and a little too fast. I love you like Paul and Joanne knew that love the second time around could be the everlasting kind of love; the way Liz and Richard knew that sometimes things are worth trying a second time; the way Allie and Noah believed they were birds; the way Mila and Ashton ended up being right for each other all along, maybe, in a crazy way, so did we.

I love you in the way that we read love stories and listen to love songs and look at our parents and watch and couples walking down the street and pry into the private lives of people we feel like we know as some sort of blueprint for love. As some sort of way to tell us how to go about something as rocky and delicate and fragile and special as taking care of another person’s heart. Because none of us know what we’re doing, not really. And all we can do is try. All we can do is emulate what we think love is, and if it feels right, then we keep going a little bit more. Because every time we fall in love, it’s a new attempt at forever, and whether or not we crash and burn or if anyone thinks we’re ridiculous, at least we’re risking and trying.

But I love you like Kanye loves Kanye, because you are, in a strange way, a part of me. Because you latched yourself into my life and heart and all of those other cliches, and settled there with a weird sort of confidence — or maybe it was genius, because you just knew that anything was possible. That maybe I was supposed to find my love in you all along, that I never had to look far, because you were always there. And if that’s crazy or insane or egotistical or absurd, so be it. Because maybe love is a little of all of those things. Maybe love is so much more. But Kanye would do anything for Kanye, no matter what anyone else has to say about it, and that’s how I’d do anything for you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer. Editor. Twitter-er. Instagrammer. Coffee drinker. (Okay, mostly that last one.)

Keep up with Ella on Twitter and ellaceron.tumblr.com

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