Old words are cool. They’ve got this sort of forbidden vibe to them; we haven’t used them in so long, so unearthing them is at once a tribute, yet also this weird longing to capture a spirit and time now relegated to the history books.
With that in mind, here are a few medieval words and phrases you can use that are at once practical, and nowadays quite amusing — life would probably be a lot better if we walked around using these words.
1. Hither (here): Come hither!
2. Privy (restroom): Where is the privy? I drank too many Bud Light Platinums.
3. Perchance (perhaps): Perchance Steve will text you back. Wouldn’t bet it on it though.
4. Bubble-bow (a lady’s pocketbook): Michael Kors makes the best bubble-bows.
5. Prithee (please): I really like that Mike Posner song “Prithee Don’t Go.”
6. Anon (later on): I’ll see you anon, or I’ll see you another time.
7. Wind-Sucker (a jealous person): Ever since I got engaged to Theo, Jenny’s been a real wind-sucker. She didn’t even like my Facebook status…
8. Grammarcy (thank you): Grammarcy for the wool sweater! A bit bummed you didn’t include the receipt so I could return it the second you leave, but Grammarcy!
9. Mayhap (maybe): Mayhap I will build up the courage to talk to her, but probably not.
10. Thither (there): Steve is having a party. Let us go thither and look at instagram the whole time.
11. Bellytimber (food): McDonalds hast the best bellytimber.
12. Morrow (morning, day): Good morrow! Yes My Lord, I’ll have the deck ready for the 10 am call.
13. Woodness (madness or insanity): This is blashphemy! This is woodness!
14. Kiss The Hare’s Foot (to miss dinner and be left with the scraps): That Joey Chestnut eats like he’s been kissing the hare’s foot for weeks.
15. Nose Of Wax (a fickle personality): According the Republican party, John Kerry had a real nose of wax when it came to the Iraq War.
16. Pitchkettled (puzzled): A lot of film snobs are rather pitchkettled about Greta Gerwig playing the lead role in CBS’ How I Met Your Dad.
17. Beauteous (beautiful): I know it’s kind of creepy, but that James Blunt song where he falls in love with a stranger that he never sees again is rather beauteous.
18. Keak (to cackle): I really liked everything about her, except she just had this awful, awful keak. Can’t date a girl with a terrible keak.
19. Hufty-tufty (a braggart): Ever since he moved to Los Angeles, Chase has been a real hufty-tufty. I get that it’s a big deal, but has he even booked anything?