You Return Everything You Borrow.

Utilize the alone time and watch every sad movie on Netflix you can think of, because no one is around to see you cry.

“My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.”

I’ve heard plenty of girls bitch and complain about not being able to find a nice guy, whining about how all the good ones are taken or gay.

5. People are SO nice. Everywhere. Period. Even if it is 11pm and they’re trying to close the bar, they’re still happy to see you.

1. Haunt her periphery Begin your seduction at an indirect angle. If she learns your true intentions too soon, the chances are good her barriers will shoot up.

1. If your child suggests that everyone in his family hates him, don’t reassure him of your love. Instead tell him to wish for a new family.

Sometimes one of the bravest things you can do is go to a party alone. That, and playing dead around a bear. It’s a toss-up.

Give better goodbyes.

I dare you to get on your Instagram right now and see how many of these are currently on your feed.

“EPIC FAIL”…that’s what the Facebook message read that I had scattered across my iPhone after revealing my two year crush on this girl that has consumed my mind since the…

How terrible you used to be at holding your liquor, and the ridiculous combination of drinks you used to deem acceptable, such as Rikaloff and Hawaiian Punch served in a…

Someone in your life (of yourself) douses their food with this bright-red hot sauce made from red chili peppers, vinegar, garlic, salt, sugar, amongst a couple of other ingredients. It’s…

“Instagram is the reason I’m bullied constantly at school.”

Any orange cat not named Crookshanks is missing out on a prime naming opportunity, in your opinion.

Well I mean first of all, it’s never a good idea to approach a hot black girl with an opening line about how much you love chocolate!

You break out the shorts when it hits 40 degrees in April.

Talk to random people in social settings. This will make you a more well- rounded person, and chances are good you’ll make a new friend, too.

Do not assign moral value to food items, on your own plate or anyone else’s. A mozzarella stick is a mozzarella stick, and nothing more.

They don’t have giant egos. There are certain people in the world that will always view you a youngest child as a baby or as their kid sister/brother. You can…

Cassandra makes vegan pasta with Zucchini noodles. :(

Success begins on the inside right under your skin – forget about the outfit you wear but instead focus on the attitude you project. Our world is cruel and only…

The fact that you have to be some sort of wizard to put the string back into a hoodie once it comes out.

“Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.”

One year, one of my friends received a phone call from two other students; these girls thought it would a good idea to make a list of everything they disliked…

Everyone knows when someone got new head shots done, because they post the 72 best outtakes on their Facebook page one by one, and then make the most flattering one…

As much as I appreciate someone telling me to keep my chin up when going through a hard time, I’m fairly certain I’d rather them let me punch dance out…

The middle seat is your domain.

Not even the least sexually inhibited are immune to awkward moments between the sheets. The reason for this, I believe, is twofold. First, we’re all susceptible to the involuntary nature…