Latest From
Thought Catalog
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The Five Types of Friends Everyone Should Get Rid Of
You like the party friend, but you actually don’t know a lot about them. Sometimes you wonder if they do normal things during the day like go grocery shopping or…
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Unemployed? Try Sleeping All Day!
Stay up late watching TV. Since you can’t afford HBO or Netflix, you’re going to have to endure a lot of commercials unless you use my trick of checking out…
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How to Live in Los Angeles
Go to a coffee shop at 3:00 in the afternoon to apply for jobs and find it packed. Wonder how people actually make a living here. Everyone always talks about…
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Almost Transparent Blue by Ryu Murakami
Almost Transparent Blue (1976) was written by Ry? Murakami (b. 1952) while he was a student at Musashino Art University, where he was enrolled in the sculpture program. It was…
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Why The Internet Chose Cats
Popular themes for internet cat pictures suggest that the cat is perplexed by his/her environment; the cat is demanding of something in a regal fashion [cats may often be implied…
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You Should Date An Illiterate Girl
A girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an…
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Dating a Privileged White Girl
She was immersed in things I’d only heard of before, like Debutantes, season tickets to the Orange County Performing Arts Center, new Volvo sedans, Pescetarianism, Whole Foods, art show openings,…
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The Evolution of A Typical Long-Term Monogamous Relationship
Such moments become fiercely guarded, protected and cherished memories and subsequently, the recall of such memories is often the precursor to small mental breakdowns, large mental breakdowns, and evolution-of-a-relationship montages…
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Five Emotions Invented By The Internet
During this time the individual will have several windows open, generally several browser ‘tabs,’ a Microsoft Word document in some state of incompletion, the individual’s own Facebook page as well…
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10 Clichés About Relationships & Sex That Are Worth Questioning
Sex involving two partners shouldn’t have anything to do with Victoria Secret catalogs, Penelope Cruz, or any TV/movie love/romance/sex scene that once impressed you so deeply that it’s actually become…
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20 Ways To Be Popular At An Expensive Liberal Arts School
Take over a building. Why not the library? All you need to do is show up and then refuse to leave. It is the most effective way of getting your…
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I Have An Irrational Fear Of HIV
I get tested every three months not because I need to, but because I have a sick fear that is obviously rooted in some other mental disturbance. HIV just gets…
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Intervention: Erin Is Addicted To Meth, Men And Wearing Booty Shorts
Today Erin’s life is very ho-hum. Her husband Jim goes to work at a place called Christian World while she lounges in her bra and booty shorts, smokes meth and…
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Ten Best Celebrity Twitters
When celebrities use Twitter, it can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, they’re able to create a faux personal relationship with their fans and enhance their brand and marketability.…
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How to Live in New York City
Go home for the holidays and run into old friends from high school. When you tell them that you live in New York, watch their eyes widen. They’ll say, “Oh…
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5 Typical Acts of Politeness That are Inefficient and Should be Banned
What’s especially inefficient is when you stop for me on a busy two-lane road and I have to begin walking in front of you, only to realize that I have…
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Eight Ways Twilight is Better Than Real Life
The Twilight series of books/films is widely perceived to be bad, sexist and potentially in possession of a ‘Mormon agenda,’ even by people who have not consumed any of the…
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How to be a 20-Something
Work at a coffee shop but feel hopeful about your career in advertising, writing, whatever. Remember that you’re young and that the world is your oyster. Everything is possible, you…
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Top 10 Animals That Don’t Have Butts
One of the largest, softest, most complex areas of the human body is the ass. That asses are both sexual and fecal seems vaguely confusing. One considers the dual nature…
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Top Ten Celebrity Excuses for Acting Completely Insane
The only thing celebrities love more than themselves is lying. Exhaustion, asthma attacks, allergic reactions: These are the official reasons why celebrities do such nutty things but we know the…
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Drugs I Will Never Try
If I tried heroin, I would love it so much, I would want to marry it. Not just because it’s heroin and everyone loves it but because that opiate high…
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How To Become Unsatisfied In a Long-Term Relationship
Feel resigned about the fact that sex sometimes doesn’t happen for weeks. Start to feel apathetic about lack of intimacy, orgasm and physical touch. Become overly silly. Hide the fact…
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Things My Five-Year Old Has Said, Which I Have Quoted on Twitter
Eli is my five-year old son. He has an older brother, Slade. Slade writes fiction and spends a substantial amount of time on FlipNotes, so he rarely says anything worth…
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Guide To Vague Relationships
A vague relationship basically feels like a real relationship, only it’s harder to tell when it’s okay to cuddle. Vague relationships can last anywhere from 0 to 8 years, but…
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How I Met Your Mother Is Really the Anti-Friends
He falls in love with Robin at first sight, foolishly tells her so on their first date, and then makes the dumbest lovesick moves to get her. He’s neurotic, obsessive,…
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20 Memorable Quotes from Grey Gardens
Little Edie: “There are some nice people in the world, you know, I just don’t happen to be related to any of them.” Big Edie: “The cat’s going to the…
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Not Your Father’s Africa: 6 African Up-And-Comers To Watch
“The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete,” said Nigerian author Chimamanda Adichie in her popular TED talk “The Danger of a Single…
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I Was Masturbated At
Apparently some guy thought an awesome way to spend a Wednesday night was to hang out in the dark, pants down with wiener in hand, and wait for some girl…
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The Most Popular Places NYU Students Can Be Observed Partying
Otherwise, while partygoers are known to follow a BYOB rule or find a cheap bodega nearby if necessary, cheap apartment parties consume themselves, quickly expending available resources.
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You’re Not Straight. You’re Not Gay. You’re Not Bisexual Either.
It’s called the Flextuality test, and in a little under 15 minutes you can finally pinpoint your real sexual orientation once and for all. Take the test and you’ll see…
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Five Terrifying Serial Killers in Recent History
The five serial killers cataloged in this article are from Ukraine, the United States, and Japan. When they committed their crimes, they were 19, 48, 32 and 60 years old.…
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Why ‘Breathless’? A Retrospective On Jean-Luc Godard’s Masterpiece
I thought that it was kind of a cliché to be so into it – some of the other students who had seen it even told me that – but…
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One Snort
Then who were those teenage goons sent to frighten us wee children back in grade school with tales of life-ending catastrophe and humbling community service hours spent plucking trash, orange…
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‘Network’ Or How TV Kills Everything
All I know is first you’ve got to get mad. You’ve got to say, “I’m a human being goddammit. My life has value.” So I want you to get up…
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A Less Bloody Ethics: On ‘True Blood’
The ads for True Blood play on this: “Thou shalt not crave they neighbor.” But of course we do crave each other –– for love, sex, money, nurturing, healing, playing.…
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Television on ‘The Wire’: Extension, Expansion, Proliferation
The Wire performs what television can formally be, what it formally wants to be, how it wants to go. Television is not suited for the climax and dénouement that Hollywood…
