1. Any mention of L. Ron Hubbard will be met with fear, then curiosity, and finally amusement when people find out you’re not a Scientologist.
2. Getting on the guest list to an Opus Label party is about as coveted as the wait list for the new Birkin bag.
3. Everyone is always trying to recommend their favorite bookstore, but you know that the only one for you is The Last Bookstore, all the others just pale in comparison.
4. You will literally kill anyone that says A Club Called Rhonda isn’t the best poly-sexual dance party.
5. You know someone who works “in the industry.”
6. You know SB is where the best rehab clinics are.
7. A summer weekend in LA is nothing without hitting up Cinespia for wine and films at the Hollywood Cemetery.
8. You’ve been bequeathed with the understanding that the National Council of Jewish Women has THE BEST thrift stores…like, going anywhere else is not even option.
9. Your 4th of July be like:
10. You know that if you stop by the In-N-Out between Sunset and Hollywood, at any moment you might see a celebrity (and aren’t surprised if it’s someone from the D-List).
11. You understand the power of a cheap weave.
12. Taking a date to Placita Olvera is totally a cute/viable option, most likely with someone you met while hiking Runyon Canyon.
13. Little Ethiopia is the shit; it literally has the best restaurants ever.
14. Taking “ridiculous 90 minute lunches” happens; albeit not too often, but when they do you soak in the sun and smile like you just found a twenty on the ground.
15. When you whisper Mischa Barton’s name in close proximity to anyone actually from Orange County, you know you will be judged, and judged hard at that.
16. Everybody is a little bit Mexican, or at least knows passable Spanish because LA history IS Mexican history:
17. Hearing “one cum shot gives you about 3grams of protein” at the Fairfax Flea Market doesn’t faze you, especially when Ron Jeremy is sitting next to the person who said it, sweating profusely and eating a dollar taco.
18. Farmer’s markets are your THANG!
19. Consequently, your breakfast looks like:
20. You know FYF fest is fucking awesome, and no dares tell you any different.
21. You know where the best vegan taco trucks are.
22. You know which 99-cent stores carry this, and you pray to St. Selena everyday thanking her for this blessing.
23. You avoid Hollywood Blvd like the plague, but actually.