Thought Catalog

27 Hilariously Honest Titles For Popular Books

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Have you ever wondered what your favorite books would be called if they were being honest? In the name of truth in advertising, I put together a list of 27 books, some classics and others modern bestsellers, retitled with more appropriate names.

Have your own suggestions for future entries? Tweet your suggestions to me @Nico_Lang.

1. The Great Gatsby

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, As Told By a Total Dick

The Great Gatsby/Amazon
The Great Gatsby/Amazon

2. The “A Song of Ice and Fire” Series

Everyone You Love Will Die

A Game of Thrones/Amazon
A Game of Thrones/Amazon

3. Huck Finn

Racist Kids Say the Darndest Things

Huck Finn/Mark Twain
Huck Finn/Amazon

4. Animal Farm

Babe: Pig in the Dystopia

Animal Farm/Amazon
Animal Farm/Amazon

5. The Fountainhead

Capitalism and Architecture Make Ayn Rand Down to Fuck

The Fountainhead/Amazon
The Fountainhead/Amazon

6. The Da Vinci Code

Art History for Dummies

The Da Vinci Code/Amazon
The Da Vinci Code/Amazon

7. Ethan Frome

Nothing Happens But You’ll Have to Read It in AP English Anyway

Ethan Frome/Amazon
Ethan Frome/Amazon

8. Tropic of Cancer

Everyone Wants to Fuck Henry Miller

Tropic of Cancer/Amazon
Tropic of Cancer/Amazon

10. Where the Red Fern Grows

Your Childhood is Over

Where the Red Fern Grows/Amazon
Where the Red Fern Grows/Amazon

11. The Scarlet Letter

She’s Not a Whore, She’s My Martyr

The Scarlet Letter/Amazon
The Scarlet Letter/Amazon

12. The Odyssey

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gods

The Odyssey/Amazon
The Odyssey/Amazon

13. A Separate Peace

Love (and Hate) in the Time of Homosexual Subtext

A Separate Peace/Amazon
A Separate Peace/Amazon

14. Carrie

It Gets Better (After Everyone Around You Dies)

Carrie/Amazon
Carrie/Amazon

15. Brief Interviews with Hideous Men

All These Dudes Have Mommy Issues

Brief Interviews with Hideous Men/Amazon
Brief Interviews with Hideous Men/Amazon

16. Lady Chatterley’s Lover

Porn Is Okay If You’re Reading It in School

Lady Chatterley's Lover/Amazon
Lady Chatterley’s Lover/Amazon

17. Catcher in the Rye

#FirstWorldProblems Before It Was Trendy

Catcher in the Rye/Amazon
Catcher in the Rye/Amazon

18. The Sun Also Rises

Jews, Amiright?

The Sun Also Rises/Amazon
The Sun Also Rises/Amazon

19. Ulysses

James Joyce Gets Off (on Reading His Own Words)

Ulysses/Amazon
Ulysses/Amazon

20. Cyrano de Bergerac

Catfish: The Book

Cyrano/Amazon
Cyrano/Amazon

21. Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Prettiest Woman

Breakfast at Tiffany's/Amazon
Breakfast at Tiffany’s/Amazon

22. Gone Girl

See? Your Parents’ Marriage Wasn’t So Bad

Gone Girl/Amazon
Gone Girl/Amazon

23. Through the Looking Glass

Acid Trips…for the Whole Family!

Through the Looking Glass/Amazon
Through the Looking Glass/Amazon

24. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Hipsters Don’t Know What David Bowie Is

Perks/Amazon
Perks/Amazon

25. Crime and Punishment

Superman (It’s Not Easy)

Crime and Punishment/Amazon
Crime and Punishment/Amazon

26. The Notebook

All Great Love Stories End in Untreatable Illnesses

The Notebook/Amazon
The Notebook/Amazon

27. Mary Poppins

If a Strange Homeless Woman Claiming to Have Magic Powers Comes to Your Door, Put Her in Charge of Your Children TC mark

Mary Poppins/Amazon
Mary Poppins/Amazon

Boys, An Anthology is available for preorder on Amazon and iBooks here.

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