I think the moment you realize how awful her songwriting is is the moment you are officially no longer a teenager. Leaving the Church of Jenny Lewis is an eye-opening…

Herein begins one of the most controversial sections of the song: The rap. Featuring an African American man in his mid 30s, audiences expect this lyrical maestro to hop on…

As if being gay wasn’t gay enough, I’ve gotten myself into quite a hole (metaphorically, not sexually, I’m a total bottom). I’ve started the complicated procedure of talking to a…

The flowchart inside presents a pretty excellent strategy for having a reasonable, rational discussion (instead of one party ‘lecturing’ or ‘giving a sermon’ to the other).

“There are two kinds of people” arguments usually strike me as cheeky and stale.  But there is one incontestable version of the formulation:  there are two types of people in the world—those…

Having been out of high school for six years now, I’m able to look back at my experience with warm fuzzies and nostalgia. The self-loathing, the drama, the devastating outfit…

You know when it’s not working, and it’s not because you don’t want it to work, but because it just won’t? And so you separate, you go on a ‘break’…

The term “black ice” is a misnomer. Nothing about the thin layer of ice that forms on roadways when condensation from automotive exhausts freezes is black in any way. If…

Alcohol can punk you like that. It will be like, “I’m going to take you on a funny crazy ride and then drop you off on the corner of Darkness…

Recently, a good friend of mine and former roommate, who happens to be gay, made a pass at me through a facebook message. He knows that I’m straight and threw…

If you meet someone and they haven’t revealed their sexuality via a comment about the same sex or something similar, you can’t just be like, “Are you gay?” because they…

Love is someone giving a shit about you enough to argue. Love is not passive. Love is “Don’t fucking touch me right now.” Love is “Who the FUCK were you…

I’ve been with this girl for the last few months and she’s pretty awesome. She doesn’t take any shit, she makes me laugh and she has an amazing body. Our…

My body is similar in touch to a dolphin’s. Yet – and by the title of this article I think you know where I’m going – I have extremely long…

You like the party friend, but you actually don’t know a lot about them. Sometimes you wonder if they do normal things during the day like go grocery shopping or…

Stay up late watching TV. Since you can’t afford HBO or Netflix, you’re going to have to endure a lot of commercials unless you use my trick of checking out…

Go to a coffee shop at 3:00 in the afternoon to apply for jobs and find it packed. Wonder how people actually make a living here. Everyone always talks about…

Almost Transparent Blue (1976) was written by Ry? Murakami (b. 1952) while he was a student at Musashino Art University, where he was enrolled in the sculpture program. It was…

Popular themes for internet cat pictures suggest that the cat is perplexed by his/her environment; the cat is demanding of something in a regal fashion [cats may often be implied…

A girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an…

She was immersed in things I’d only heard of before, like Debutantes, season tickets to the Orange County Performing Arts Center, new Volvo sedans, Pescetarianism, Whole Foods, art show openings,…

Such moments become fiercely guarded, protected and cherished memories and subsequently, the recall of such memories is often the precursor to small mental breakdowns, large mental breakdowns, and evolution-of-a-relationship montages…

During this time the individual will have several windows open, generally several browser ‘tabs,’ a Microsoft Word document in some state of incompletion, the individual’s own Facebook page as well…

Sex involving two partners shouldn’t have anything to do with Victoria Secret catalogs, Penelope Cruz, or any TV/movie love/romance/sex scene that once impressed you so deeply that it’s actually become…

Take over a building. Why not the library? All you need to do is show up and then refuse to leave. It is the most effective way of getting your…

I get tested every three months not because I need to, but because I have a sick fear that is obviously rooted in some other mental disturbance. HIV just gets…

Today Erin’s life is very ho-hum. Her husband Jim goes to work at a place called Christian World while she lounges in her bra and booty shorts, smokes meth and…

When celebrities use Twitter, it can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, they’re able to create a faux personal relationship with their fans and enhance their brand and marketability.…

Go home for the holidays and run into old friends from high school. When you tell them that you live in New York, watch their eyes widen. They’ll say, “Oh…

What’s especially inefficient is when you stop for me on a busy two-lane road and I have to begin walking in front of you, only to realize that I have…

The Twilight series of books/films is widely perceived to be bad, sexist and potentially in possession of a ‘Mormon agenda,’ even by people who have not consumed any of the…

Work at a coffee shop but feel hopeful about your career in advertising, writing, whatever. Remember that you’re young and that the world is your oyster. Everything is possible, you…

One of the largest, softest, most complex areas of the human body is the ass. That asses are both sexual and fecal seems vaguely confusing. One considers the dual nature…

The only thing celebrities love more than themselves is lying. Exhaustion, asthma attacks, allergic reactions: These are the official reasons why celebrities do such nutty things but we know the…

If I tried heroin, I would love it so much, I would want to marry it. Not just because it’s heroin and everyone loves it but because that opiate high…

Feel resigned about the fact that sex sometimes doesn’t happen for weeks. Start to feel apathetic about lack of intimacy, orgasm and physical touch. Become overly silly. Hide the fact…

Eli is my five-year old son. He has an older brother, Slade. Slade writes fiction and spends a substantial amount of time on FlipNotes, so he rarely says anything worth…

A vague relationship basically feels like a real relationship, only it’s harder to tell when it’s okay to cuddle. Vague relationships can last anywhere from 0 to 8 years, but…

He falls in love with Robin at first sight, foolishly tells her so on their first date, and then makes the dumbest lovesick moves to get her. He’s neurotic, obsessive,…

Little Edie: “There are some nice people in the world, you know, I just don’t happen to be related to any of them.” Big Edie: “The cat’s going to the…

“The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete,” said Nigerian author Chimamanda Adichie in her popular TED talk “The Danger of a Single…

Apparently some guy thought an awesome way to spend a Wednesday night was to hang out in the dark, pants down with wiener in hand, and wait for some girl…

Otherwise, while partygoers are known to follow a BYOB rule or find a cheap bodega nearby if necessary, cheap apartment parties consume themselves, quickly expending available resources.

It’s called the Flextuality test, and in a little under 15 minutes you can finally pinpoint your real sexual orientation once and for all. Take the test and you’ll see…

The five serial killers cataloged in this article are from Ukraine, the United States, and Japan. When they committed their crimes, they were 19, 48, 32 and 60 years old.…

I thought that it was kind of a cliché to be so into it – some of the other students who had seen it even told me that – but…

Then who were those teenage goons sent to frighten us wee children back in grade school with tales of life-ending catastrophe and humbling community service hours spent plucking trash, orange…

All I know is first you’ve got to get mad. You’ve got to say, “I’m a human being goddammit. My life has value.” So I want you to get up…

The ads for True Blood play on this: “Thou shalt not crave they neighbor.” But of course we do crave each other –– for love, sex, money, nurturing, healing, playing.…

The Wire performs what television can formally be, what it formally wants to be, how it wants to go. Television is not suited for the climax and dénouement that Hollywood…