Top Ten Celebrity Excuses for Acting Completely Bat Shit Insane

The only thing celebrities love more than themselves is lying. Exhaustion, asthma attacks, allergic reactions: These are the official reasons why celebrities do such nutty things but we know the truth. “Asthma” is usually code for coke binge, and “allergic reaction” typically means overdose.  Here are the top ten excuses celebrities have made, translated into cold harsh reality.

1. “I’m afraid of needles!”

Liar: Mischa Barton

Bullshit Meter: 9

Remember when Mischa Barton was placed under a 51/50 and spent two weeks in a mental hospital last year? Now, she’s telling everyone that it all stemmed from having her wisdom teeth removed. She explains, “I’d had enough (of the pain) and I went to the hospital. I am terrified of needles and they wanted to pump me full of drugs and I said, “No, absolutely not. I don’t want to be here,” and got into a fight with the nurses, and that led to my 5150.’ Okay, Mischa. No one’s going to believe that you’re afraid of needles because you look like Amy Winehouse’s wacky cousin. Also, it’s hard to believe that someone could be placed under a 51/50 for simply arguing with a nurse. Liar, Liar, skinny jeans on fire!

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Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

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