1. Get your first full-time forever job. There’s a certain sense of satisfaction in earning a salary, buying dishes at HomeSense and owning furniture that isn’t from IKEA. 2. Learn…

I never set out to break the girl code, but my habits won over my morals and with every drink, my inhibitions loosened.

10. Make sure your lips are always chapped by constantly licking them and never applying chap stick.

Pull them closer in their sleep.

“Cooking and re-organizing knick knacks all day seems like it actually might be pretty sweet.”

3. Flirt All The Time

Obsessing about winning is a loser’s game: The most we can hope for is to create the best possible conditions for success, then let go of the outcome. The ride…

A pair of boots that keep your feet warm and comfortable in the winter without giving you that upside-down corn dog look of Uggs.

22. Take a friend’s dog for a walk. Who said working out had to be heart-poundingly difficult?

In the brief amount of time it takes to reach your train station, hit the front of the lunch line, or collect your latte, you’ve somehow managed to project an…

21. When somebody compares your looks to another person, that other person always has glasses—no matter how little they actually look like you.

One should never look like they’re trying too hard, especially not when they’re in the midst of trying so hard they’re giving themselves an ulcer.

Deep-fry cauliflower, slather in barbecue sauce. It’s so simplistic, but so, so good.

Regularly discussing all the things they want to do before they get with someone, such as travel or write a novel, because — as we all know — the freedom…

“Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.”

11. The spot-the-difference game grew old quickly didn’t it?

In 2005 my father went to the doctor complaining of chest pain. The doctor assured him it was heartburn and sent him home with Tums and no further testing. My…

Employing the word “soulmate” in casual conversation, as if that wasn’t the linguistic equivalent of coughing up glitter on someone in the middle of a sentence.

Perched atop an exam table at Rutgers’ Imaging Center, twitching bare feet, I glance from the standard medical gown keeping me cold to drab linoleum floor to unforgiving fluorescent ceiling…

The beauty of things must be that they end.

Straightforwardly asking someone out and not calling it “hanging out.”

It seems to come down to this. If you’re going to rape teenage girls then you damn well better be famous and good looking in a harmless sort of way.…

Tip: in a pinch you can scrape ice off your windows with a credit card and an empty fast food beverage cup can shovel up snow near your tires.

Can you imagine if you had the money to buy this boat? What would you do with it?

I have successfully branded my childhood memories with Thought Catalog.

The disturbing ways they start to resemble your mother, in habits and appearance.

Here’s a list of 19 people that did some regrettable things for love. Found on Quora’s “What’s the stupidest thing you’ve done for love?” thread.

1. Making eye contact while on the toilet, or with someone who’s on the toilet Someone I know, let’s call him my “uncle,” once scored a hot date, and took…

Get some real advice from a college senior who’s been there. From interviews with seniors at my college.

He had this smug look like he was the most important guy in the room, which he probably was. No one was talking to him. I had to try.

It could be so much worse.

And maybe one day I’ll be reading a book at the Laundromat. Some movement will catch my eye and then I’ll see you taking your clothes out of the dryer.

I remember tears streaming down her face as she shook her head from side to side hysterically and in a mixture of words and uncontrollable sobbing I remember her saying,…

If you are a size 6, then you’ll be given free clothes to wear, termed “promotions”.

The 90s were such an amazing time for hip-hop. The styles and sounds shifted tremendously from that of the 80s and some of the biggest names in the genre emerged…

In Western culture we love to hate or point out all the weird things about Christianity, Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens and Bill Maher have made life-long careers pointing out the…

This veteran chlamydia hottie, who splits his time between follicle replacement therapy and banging his domestic help, is always a perennial choice for the STD hit.

My little book that I’ve been working on for the last few months, My Heart Is An Autumn Garage, came out last week. It’s a short memoir about the breakdown I had in…

I’m a 23 year old male virgin. Well, I was a 23 year old male virgin. Once upon a time, I was a 23-year-old virgin.

You can’t go beyond your saturation point. You can’t let yourself regress. If your paths are diverging, let them.

2. It’s not a shopping cart, it’s a buggy

“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”

Complaining that a dead movie star isn’t worthy of a massive response from fans and comparing it to the death of a starving child or a soldier is beyond pointless.

1. You call her every day or multiple times a day just to tell her about little things going on in your life and to find out what’s going in…

About half way through the dinner the husband politely stands up and taps his glass for attention. He announced that his wife of 15 years has been cheating in him…

Wait, Bob Saget isn’t the father. What the hell is going on?

Education is knowledge – not the thoughtless accumulation of knowledge, but knowing what to make of what you see.

Don’t Get Wrapped Up in the Blame-Game/Self-Hate/Regret Tornado.

I want to address some basics here mostly for the benefit of the 20 something young men who grew up watching and very possibly imitating porn. This won’t be a…

When my father and grandfather both approached me for help in family affairs.