1. My list Daniel Day Lewis, Aung San Suu Kyi, Sofia Coppola (or Marilyn Monroe), Shakespeare and Gautama Buddha. 2. Adrienne McQueen Jared Leto, Julian Assange, Sandra Bullock, Alex Proyas…

I saw J-Lo in the Bronx, she was with Ben Affleck and some other people in a Bodega. A teenage girl asked for her autograph and she said no. The…

My Great Grandfather was sent over to Prague at the end of WWII. He was working at a place that was cataloguing all of the stuff that was being pulled…

Frat boys are so homoerotic sometimes I can’t stand it. Just spank each other, already. I won’t try to stop you!

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in a long-shot.” – Charlie Chaplin

What I handed him looked like it had been places. And it had.

3. Neat Men With Good Cleaning Habits Get Laid More Often

5. Look Up Photos Of Successful People When They Were Nobodies

The novelty of the 21st birthday wears off quickly.

Dad took me by the arm and shoved me onto the floor. He started kicking me. He kicked, and kicked, and kicked. Each time I would try to get up…

Lisa Frank was the Banksy of middle school fashion. I have no idea how her stuff isn’t still popular.

23. You find it immensely tough to get a drink without having to walk through a particularly rough gauntlet of people you really don’t want to say hi to. Is…

1. Mystery shoppers give retail workers trust issues for life.

You’re welcome, internet.

Wine > vodka.

t has been exactly 1 year, 1 month and 2 days since we broke up. 13 months. 56 weeks. 398 days. 9552 hours. 573,120 minutes. 34,387,200 seconds.

The scariest thing about falling in love is the uncertainty.

Recently re-emerging into the dating scene, I had to reevaluate what I was looking for in guys. Is it how he dresses this time? How are his views on Sriracha?

I wake up with a hot knife searing my jaw apart.

Wake up, Dorothy. We’re not in junior high anymore.

Openly supporting child labor, printing controversial phrases on bags, a racist origin to the company name, sexist viewpoints and philosophies, extreme markup on their product, defective inventory, and stating that…

Finish your drink every time Taissa Farmiga’s character murders a boy with her vagina.

I have always liked P!nk best when she is pissed off and angry at the patriarchy.

If your dude is a man child, then he’ll have grand ambitions, ambitions he mentions, sporadically and vaguely, while smoking a joint. And ambitions he has never once acted on.

“It’s okay, I’m a MILF, I can do whatever I want.”

I worked in a steak restaurant and my co worker lost her ID at the bar next door one night after work, one week later a girl came in and…

2013 was the year of the “selfie.” It’s official now. Time magazine always picks the person of the year. And the publishers of the Oxford Dictionary, well, they get to…

Sometimes when you’re having a bad day, a perfect playlist will turn your entire day around.

DO YOU CONSTANTLY FIND YOURSELF DELETING THINGS THAT NOBODY “LIKED” OR “RETWEETED” OR “FAVORITED” BECAUSE YOU FEEL LAME AND STUPID?

“People’s memories are maybe the fuel they burn to stay alive.”

That one stupid thing you said two years ago that has somehow become your favorite subject with which to torture yourself while trying to fall asleep. No one remembers it…

Have you ever wondered about what it’s like to live in a place other than where you are?

Women can’t seem to get enough of chasing men around in circles.

He left a trail of mangled bodies after purposefully botching surgeries. There was the man who came in with arm spasms only to wake up with his arms amputated.

We all seem to agree that young women are embracing hookup culture as fervently as their male peers. But according to a recent study led by the Kinsey Institute’s Dr.…

Mariah liked to envelop herself in white silk lingerie in her white silk sheets and bedspread.

He is not texting back. Do you think he is waiting for something or busy or what?!

If you look down your nose on this last-minute solution simply because it contains the word “toilet,” you are ruining your whole life.

1. Money: I will admit that having a “real world” job is cool in the sense that you don’t need to cross your fingers and hold your breath when the…

Inevitable growing pains.

1. Have a roommate you love.

2. At least five of your friends have surnames that end with the suffix “-eaux.” Many of them have surnames that the untrained eye can’t pronounce correctly.

What’s that you feel? Are those real tears running down your cheek? They immediately harden to ice in the bitter New York winter. You decide to leave them there.

4. Always have at least 3-5 places ready to go if asked to recommend a place for brunch.

I’ve always mulled over its ethicality and it recently hit me that I may just be missing the point entirely. Because the point isn’t what you find when you snoop;…

It’s no secret that an apartment inhabited by young males is one of the scarier places on earth.

Do you use porn?

Her name was Marie. That’s all I knew at first.

1. You are a bad person who deserves bad things. 2. You are unhappy because you are lazy or lacking in willpower. Happiness is a choice, a choice that you…