1. The untold hundreds of selfies you want to post to Instagram or Snapchat, but don’t want to seem too conceited, but you’re having a really good hair day today so you just gotta share it with someone.
2. Screencaps of text arguments you’re having with someone else, if only so that you don’t feel alone in judging someone hard for the little pixelated bubble that is currently making you seethe with rage.
3. Or screencaps of things your crush said, because somebody has to decode their “k.” for you before you lose your mind. Your heart is on the line here, people.
4. All the random thoughts keeping you awake at 3:17 in the morning, because you know that when they wake up, they will not judge you for bombarding their phone with 18 new messages about absolutely everything and nothing all at once.
5. Images from this week’s installment of Live! From The Forever 21 Dressing Room, featuring all the $24.95 sweaters that you’re not totally sold on and need a second opinion before you buy them.
6. Entire paragraphs of the most nervous of breakdowns in which you’re not actually saying anything, but at the same time, if you don’t explain every last shred of the emotions you’re going through right now, you’re going to snap, so you might as well use somebody as an outlet, and really, this is better than a diary or the notes app on your phone. And really, you’re going to tell them anyway at some point, so texting them now so they know exactly what you’re going through in the moment saves a lot of time on both your parts and oh god you really just need someone to tell you you’re not insane right now please calm me down.
8. Entire conversations in nothing but emoji and/or .GIFs.
9. “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” as an appropriate response for laughter. (When you’re best friends, lol just feels like you’re blowing them off.)
10. Bailing on plans at the last minute, because they know you’re going to follow up with an invite to veg on the couch with a personal pizza each.
11. Any and all drunk texts. Letting Don Julio talk you down into an existential breakdown feels less sloppy when your best friend can actually decipher all the words autocorrect didn’t catch.
12. #hashtags for #comedy value, even though you both know hashtags don’t actually work in text messages, but still, it adds emphasis so the fact that you can use them on your best friend without judgment, you are truly #blessed.
13. A request to give you pardon, sanction, or approval to go ahead and do something you were probably going to do anyway, but knowing you have your friend’s blessing makes it feel less of a bad idea.
14. Completely random thoughts as they cycle through your brain, most of which involve hyperbole, but someone needs to know that you are just spiritually, emotionally, metaphysically invested in this Chipotle burrito right now.
15. A pre-agreed upon request for them to send you a “but it’s totally an emergency!” text to bail you out of a bad party, date, or work function.
16. “K” as a sufficient reply. Everyone else will guilt you into the slightly more plying “kk!” or “okay.” It’s not that you’re too lazy or take your best friend for granted, but you’re just that comfortable with them that you can.
17. And random reminders of “I love you,” without fear that you’re clinging or that they might not say it back, and in a world of uncertainty and “omg no let me take that text back can I beat the ‘sending’ signal,” that absolute freedom to say anything in a sacred thread is truly magical.