1. You feel the uncontrollable urge to just spill every last detail about whatever is happening in your life whenever you’re together. Every. Last. Disgusting. Detail.
2. Facebook stalking is researching in their book too, and it gives you empirical evidence to prove the theories you craft up about people, which help explain your current predicaments all the more (They ARE dating! He did go there this weekend, I knew he was LYING.)
3. You admittedly talk about the same situation(s) ad nauseum, but it’s always exactly what you need somehow.
4. They let you get drunk and chalk your problems up to one of two sentences: “I hate everyone” or “fuck everything.”
5. There’s no such thing as “over-thinking” with you guys, you’re simply analyzing the situation for your own well-being.
6. Neither of you are really in any position to be helping anybody — it’s the blind leading the blind — and yet somehow, you’re constantly seeking each other’s advice. Why, you’re not sure, and yet… here you are.
7. Your favorite thing to do together is, you guessed it, talk.
8. You develop code names for the people and situations you want to talk about in public without anybody else — god forbid — overhearing.
9. Even after spending just a day apart, someone texts: “Oh my god I have SO MUCH TO TELL YOU.”
10. You are aware that you’re a mildly dysfunctional pair, and yet that’s why you love each other all the more.
11. They give you tough love like nobody else will, mostly because they know you can’t stay mad at them, (and that they’re probably right.)
12. You’re not embarrassed to tell them everything, you’re not holding anything back, mostly because you’ve come to terms with the fact that they’re going to find out regardless.
13. You somehow think running the details by them just one more time will inspire some sort of revelation you wouldn’t have been able to have yourself. You’re never right about this, but you do so regardless.
14. You prefer just hanging out alone together as opposed to being surrounded by people you don’t actually like (and whom you can’t speak honestly to.)
15. They know you better than you know yourself, and so you start to seriously trust their judgment for that sheer fact.
16. You have too much dirt on each other to ever not be friends, let’s be honest here for a second.
17. You know the best friendships are the ones in which you want to help each other through shitty times, because there’s nothing quite like having someone who can turn to you after your latest heartbreak and say: “remember when you felt this way about so-and-so? I do. You got over that. You’ll get over this too.”
17 a. Alternatively: “Oh honey.” *Pours wine.*