And I know, guy, that you don’t get your period (although sometimes you’re as annoyingly moody as if you did), so let me lay it down for you in a…

When I turn 25, I should stop being shocked by the fact that my peers are getting married. Proclaiming yourself husband and wife in your mid-twenties doesn’t completely read as…

Why’d you leave me with your crazy sister when you went into labor? She let me drink orange juice and milk at the same time and I threw up everywhere,…

Behavior: Avoiding eye contact. Likely to happen when: You’re talking to your crush. In confrontation. You’re talking to someone who intimidates you. You’re talking to someone you hate. Why? It’s…

Nothing pains me more than waiting for a VIP text message. Whether it’s a text from your ex, someone you’re planning on having sex with later, or your drug dealer…

Get into a drunken fight with them at a nightclub and scream “You know what you did!” just like Lauren and Heidi did on The Hills. Your lover won’t actually…

This is for you, little brother, on your 18th birthday, and for all the other little brothers and sisters who are being asked by life to please leave childhood behind,…

A new kind of relationship seems to have sprung from online dating and technology, which is The Two Week Relationship. It’s when you date someone from anywhere to two weeks…

Perhaps the most unrealistic aspect of the show was Carrie’s lax work schedule. Homegirl only had to write one column a week in a crappy newspaper and still managed to…

They’re my friends—I know what they think their problem areas are, I know what colors they think they don’t look good in, I know if wearing a 4-inch heel makes…

The woman who wont drive 45 minutes to the only open McDonalds in her town at 5am when her stomach threatens to suicide over an unrequited love affair with a…

The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The first time felt like a dream almost. You were untouched, untainted by anyone. You accepted…

Would it be better, if I could tell you how I really feel? If the next time your eyes met mine in the half darkness of a moodily lit bar,…

From Ricki Lake’s cringe worthy (but adorable!) street sass to Jenny Jones’ implant-obsessed panel of midwestern beauty pageant dropouts, I couldn’t get enough of Talk TV (much to my mothers’…

I always hear people talking about how much they hate using public restrooms, but these people are obviously only using the facilities to empty their bladders/colons. Here are five other…

She’s got long blond hair and curves and when she walks into a room, men act like a literal bomb’s gone off. One time, our mom scolded me by asking,…

Don’t get me wrong—I think you’re great. I like to eat dinner across from you, quickly glancing down at the fork idly fondling my food when you catch my eye.…

My brother is messed up. Even though we’ve become “close” in the last few years, I still acknowledge that he’s a person with serious rage issues. I knew things weren’t…

I’ve always had the mindset that if a guy wears really expensive or “sexy” underwear, he actually lacks confidence – he makes up for his insecurity by expensively framing the…

I’m a drive-by spooner. I get in, I get out, and I go to my corner of the bed ASAP. If you want something to hold on to all night,…

I have recently cultivated an interest in bathrobe wearing. Sometimes people forget about the bathrobe, the creepy (probably depressed) uncle of the fashion world. They wake up, shower, and move…

The Chainsmoker is equal parts gross and impressive. They’re that person who lights their next cigarette with the cherry of their last one. They’re the person you don’t even bother…

I think the reason why twentysomethings are so fixated on age is because we feel a pressure to be a certain way at 23, at 25, at 29. There are…

In a perfect world, everyone you loved would love you back. It’d be as easy as 1, 2, 3. “Oh, you love me? I love you back then. No questions…

You’re in a #dark place with your body. You feel fat and undesirable. You totally get why you aren’t getting laid! But that kind of thinking is dangerous. If you…

I recently held back someone’s hair while they vomited for the first time and was struck by how tender it felt. Scooping their hair up and pulling it back as…

You know the drill. You meet; you fall in ‘like’. Maybe you develop a romantic history (drunk sex, a date, a dance floor pash), or maybe you just admire them…

In the beginning of every relationship, you essentially try to be the best version of yourself. You pretend you dress to the nines every single day (“Oh, this little number?…

Sexuality is so personal. Conservative parents, fear of disownment and religion definitely play a role in someone ‘s decision to remain in the closet. But at the end of the…

These four little words, when left dangling at the end of a sentence like a cancerous limb, can result in a mental breakdown for the person on the receiving end…

The funny quiet person has a really quirky, surprisingly clever sense of humor and quick wit and as such is that much more endearing. In fact the funny quiet person…

Men, the following is a guide for whether I would sleep with you, based on your shoes. Women, although I cannot presume you share my taste in men (and, apparently,…

But really, I just want to say, go for it. Poop your heart out. Poop like there’s no tomorrow. Poop like nobody’s watching. I mean that. I don’t care if…

Other than peeking at the website, I wanted to be completely in the dark when I got to the performance, and lo and behold, it was literally pitch black as…

Your hand doesn’t talk back. It doesn’t bitch and complain or ask to be on top. It doesn’t text you at three in the morning asking you to come over.…

You should kiss someone if you like them. You’ll learn so much about them when you taste their spit. And it will also make you feel young again. No matter…

See, I’ve got a theory, and it’s that we’re all possessed by this need to be special, to be different – to matter so much to the person we choose…

Not only were the external stimuli I was exposed to promoting an “ideal” body image, they were also promoting a sense that unless I fit that particular ideal, I should…

While they have common characteristics—a lone, often single humanoid in the company of a couple (and sometimes a really super cute, tiny little puppy the couple just added to the…

The Traveler just so happens to always be visiting that day and is in dire need of meeting up because he’s lonely or needs someone to show him the city,…

Apparently there’s this part of my brain, lodged uncomfortably somewhere between the temporal lobe and the cerebellum, that drives me against my will to start aimless conversations while drunk. No…

Jenkem first came to public attention thanks to several news investigations into the living conditions of Zambian street children. They found that the children enjoyed in order from most popular…

If I have a crush on you, I will ignore you. This is stupid and I hate it but it’s what I do. I will look at you and be…

So I know there’s a song called “Rollercoaster of Love” but to me, love is less of a Magic Mountain thrill ride and more of a sweet happy (and occasionally…

I’m not convinced first time sex needs to be this bad for women, or bad at all for that matter. All it takes is a ‘can do’ attitude, a little…

Actually, forget that. Let’s not waste our time with meaningless pleasantries. Our acquaintanceship was as much out of necessity and courtesy as any could ever be. I loved her, and…

Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but…

Couples gushing about each other on their Facebook walls should be illegal. Like Time Warner Cable or Comcast needs to come to their door, find their router and smash it…

Attempting to meet up with your drug dealer is sort of like going to the gym. You wait 45 minutes for a text and then when you get it, you…

Ladies, we all know men are hard to figure out. They are a constantly shifting puzzle, 10,000 pieces, all sky. Perpetually finding new ways to obfuscate their thoughts and subvert…