One morning, I’m going to wake up and look at you and say we should go board a train to anywhere. To everywhere. I hope you’re ready.

No, it’s not an act and no, I’m not trying to be one of the guys; it just comes naturally.

5. White Privilege is never being told to, “get over slavery”.

Purple Teeth.

The worst are the ones who wish they were still in high school, the ones still clinging to some small shred of childhood.

Being seen as the strange one when you actually make an effort to call people back, text someone goodnight, or generally be available via phone.

You’ll know your feelings for this guy are genuine — that he’s not simply a rebound — because a rebound is someone you run to just so you don’t have…

This is not for the faint of mind!

Perhaps the only spectacle more intimidating than a group of PR girls at an important industry function is the same group, three hours later, at a club.

Unlike in Western cultures, weight here isn’t one of those hush-hush things. It’s an in-your-face thing. Comments people make here that would make me cry if someone Western was saying…

Let’s be nostalgic today!

When my wife and I moved into our new apartment, we thought we hit the jackpot.

Shame on you, country radio.

I’m speaking from experience here.

She’s like your friend who is constantly pushing you to do better, except with alcohol and making out with cute guys in bars.

I don’t know what to say about this.

Looking back at old stuff and deleting or throwing it out because it’s not up to par with your current works.

You’re not Jennifer Aniston.

“Binge watching a show on Netflix is more important than our friendship and I’m not even sorry.”

PLEASE DO NOT SQUEEZE.

Look, I LOVE Chandler and Joey’s friendship and I love Monica and Ross’ relationship and duh, I love Phoebe and Joey’s friendship. But I’m here to tell you, I also…

For any mere mortal, getting admitted to or even wait-listed at one Ivy League school is a huge feat, so getting in to all of them is big news indeed.

Oh wow, I didn’t realize people get angry over names!

“A car running over me but not killing me actually doesn’t sound too bad right about now.”

If you have plans with a friend, and they text you that they are stuck in construction on the Beltway, you can expect to see them sometime mid-next week.

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. Ben Williams Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe.

My cheeks hurt from laughing so much!

Even if you’ve been of drinking age for several years, you still get that thrill of “Oh, my God, we get to have alcohol in public with the grown-ups” feeling…