21 Struggles Of Still Believing In Romance In 2014

1. Being seen as the strange one when you actually make an effort to call people back, text someone goodnight, or generally be available via phone.

2. Wanting to just do things spontaneously with the person you like, when everything now is planned out far in advance via Facebook event/chain of text messages/phone tag.

3. Having to suppress an audible squeal when you see an old couple being visibly in love on a park bench or on public transportation.

4. Having to suppress the same audible squeal when you see a man on the subway platform with a nice bouquet of flowers on a random Tuesday night.

5. Kind of hating Valentine’s Day, because it’s somehow become the one time everyone decides to suddenly be romantic and go out of their way to make grand gestures, when you like doing them on completely ordinary days.

6. Actually keeping a journal, where you can write down all of your feelings with an actual pen, which everyone seems to think is weird.

7. Always being afraid of being the first person to say “I love you,” because you don’t want to come across as “the one with too many feelings,” even though you totally are.

8. Reading all of the beautiful love letters of history that people used to send each other, and thinking of how sad it is that we communicate so much more now, and never take the time to say these kinds of things. (You would trade a thousand texts for one real letter.)

9. Listening to sad love songs and crying for no reason (even when you’re totally happy otherwise!!). Sometimes you just like to listen to sad love songs and cry.

10. Forcing everyone you travel with to stop at at least one or two important romantic spots in the new city. They will think it’s corny, you will be fighting tears.

11. Constantly wondering if you’re coming across as “needy,” and deeply hating that word.

12. Trying to downplay the panic of “why have you not responded to my text for eight whole hours I have been checking my phone every 20 seconds and now it’s out of battery for no reason” when they finally write you back.

13. Trying to wait a few beats before texting back the person you like.

14. Not wanting to have any important relationship-related conversation via typing on a screen, but knowing that’s the way a lot of them happen in 2014.

15. Saying “I love you” to friends, and then getting that tinge of “Wait, is that weird? Am I not supposed to say I love them?”

16. Being overly hopeful about your friends’ relationships, because deep down you just want everyone to work it out and be happy, and you believe that they can.

17. Pretending to not be as excited or knowledgeable about rom coms as you actually are.

18. Not admitting that you can quote most lines from The Notebook verbatim, because that’s just humiliating, but secretly loving that you can.

19. Stalking the people you like on social media, and feeling almost resentful that you were born in an era that allows you to so deeply indulge your creep tendencies.

20. Having a comprehensive playlist for every single possible relationship experience, from the infatuation stage to the breakup.

21. Being sometimes overwhelmed with the realization that we live in a time that downplays honest affection, encourages seeming detached, and almost guarantees that we’ll hurt each other by failing to communicate. But then remembering that you’re okay with being the weird person who still loves 110 percent, and believes in romance, and that there’s no reason to stop just because it’s uncool. TC mark

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.

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