I hope you have the courage to keep loving deeply in a world that sometimes fails to do so.
And you will grieve the past. You will grieve the small and nameless moments you took for granted, the quiet nature of a love you assumed you would always get to lean on. You will grieve the concept of time, of the way you let it slip away from you, of the way in which it moves so quickly once you connect with how special it is. You will grieve every day you did not spend diving into the heart of them, all of the ways in which you were too busy, or too cool, or too consumed to notice that lived for you.
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Maybe right now, your journey is about being alone. Maybe this is the season you are being challenged — to learn how to wake up in the middle of the bed, to finally find hope in the vacancy, hope in the quiet, hope in the way you stretch into your life and give yourself permission to take up space within it. Maybe right now, you are being shown — that you can take care of yourself, that you can depend on the person you have become, that you can be your own home no matter what comes your way.
To be human is to understand that happiness isn’t a constant. But to be human is to understand that neither is sorrow, or grief, or heartache. To be human is to feel it all, to welcome the lessons that come with the dark days, to welcome the softness that comes from the lightness of what saves you. To be human is to try, with every inch of your patchwork soul, to be proud of who you are. To care. To heal. To be your own home, even on the days you don’t like yourself.
Take care of yourself. Be kinder to yourself. Make room for yourself every single day. Make time for yourself in your routine, be less passive in the ways you connect with your own soul. Just be gentle with yourself. Learn about yourself, and invest in the things that ignite you and make you feel good — because beauty is both mental and physical, it is something you have to work at each day.
I need you to know that you are the product of what is both hopeful and haunted within you, and it is okay to exist in this world as someone who is simply figuring out how to balance that.
Because at the end of the day, if someone does not meet you where you are, you cannot keep asking them to do so. If someone cannot reciprocate your love, if someone cannot give you what you truly deserve, you have to understand that aching for them to do so before they are ready is a form of self destruction.
If you have ever felt like your personality almost continuously attracts those who need guidance and help in life — you may be an empath.
And I know, I know — it is difficult when every tender part of who you are has been bruised and let down by the ones who never learned how to love you properly. But you must believe in this love the way it believes in you. You must trust it.