His name is Alex and he’ll be tall with brown eyes, messy hair and you’ll think everything he does is adorable. You’ll love the way he chews his food or the way he dresses or the way he looks at you from across the table. You’ll bite your lower lip and try to seduce him with your eyes, trying to tell him “I like you so much” without actually saying the words out loud. At this stage of your crush, one look conveys a thousand words.
You’ll know your feelings for this guy are genuine — that he’s not simply a rebound — because a rebound is someone you run to just so you don’t have to sleep alone at night. A rebound might be someone you don’t even care about all that much, just a dick attached to a body. But your relationship history should tell you that a rebound is never completely fulfilling. He will fuck you and kiss you and hold you and go to brunch with you, but the truth is that you’re only using him as an emotional replacement for your ex, until it doesn’t hurt as much when you think about him.
The first guy you like after a break up will mark the first time you’ve let your ex go emotionally, tell-tale proof that you’ve essentially moved on. You’ll still think about your ex from time to time, but not nearly as much as you used to.
You invite Alex over for drinks and while he’s talking you imagine what he looks like naked, how he likes to have sex. You’re so sensitive to everything about him that’s different from your ex — the way he holds his body, the jokes he makes, the way he smells. It’s the differences that turn you on the most.
Every time you look at him you have that sly “I want you so bad” look in your eyes. He’s taller than you are and all you want is for him to push you up against the wall, put his hands on your face, lean in and kiss you. Butterflies in your stomach. Palpitations in your heart.
But you’re too afraid to make a move. You haven’t made a move on anybody for the past few years, and now you’re feeling out of practice. How does anyone make a move on a boy? What do you say to him? What do you do? What if he rejects you?
Your best girlfriends will ask you how you’ve been doing since the break up. “Not great,” you’ll say, but that’s when you tell them about Alex. You’ll say how cute he is and what he does for a living. Even saying his name gets you excited, and that’s when you know you really like someone.