1. Because your overall knowledge in your focus area has peaked and reading 5789763515 more articles is not going to make that much of a difference.
2. Because at this point any reading that does not have to do with your degree completion is automatically downgraded to “skimming,” which still takes hours of course.
3. Because sometimes you’re typing up an assignment and 8 pages into it, you realize you actually have no idea what any of those 8 pages are talking about.
4. Because you really do understand life now – I KNOW I DON’T HAVE THE ANSWERS. ALL OF LIFE IS AN ARGUMENT. WE’RE ALL ONLY 99% CORRECT AT A 0.05 SIGNIFICANCE LEVEL. CAN I GRADUATE NOW?
5. Because that “pity look” your friends and family give you has officially become really old.
6. Because you’ve reached your limit with the “Oh, you’re still in school” line from haters. Fall back bitches, I will see you in 10 years okay?
7. Because waking up with paralyzing anxiety about all the work you need to be doing shouldn’t be just another morning in your life.
8. Because fear of completing your thesis or comps or both should not be reasons for contemplating thoughts like, “A car running over me but not killing me actually doesn’t sound too bad right about now.”
9. Because waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweats about said thesis or comps is really cutting into your 4-hour sleep schedule.
10. Because of well, sleep.
11. Because bank accounts should give you numbers, not sad faces. :(
12. Because trying to avoid your HoD (Head of Department) and thesis chair is almost as exhausting as doing all the work they need from you.
13. Because drinking more than you’re eating doesn’t sound like a healthy life decision.
14. Because losing (or gaining) 10 pounds in one week should not be an occasional occurrence.
15. Because crying or thinking about crying four times a day is really starting to take a toll on your emotional well-being.
16. Because at this point, you honestly feel like grad school needs an “It Gets Better” campaign.
17. Because the difference between your final months of grad school and mild depression are well, kind of the same.
18. Because you’re tired of being told, “You look tired.” ALL. THE. TIME.
19. Because it’d be nice to have hobbies again. (No grad students, “drinking” is still not a hobby.)
20. Because it would be nice to hang out with friends more than once a month and without worrying about all the other 46758957 things you should be doing instead.
21. Because every area of your life has really taken a back seat and your brain being full of theoretical shit is not making up for it.
22. Because living with stress levels as high as this should not be anyone’s portion.
23. Because waking up not knowing what day it is and what exactly to be stressed about for the next 24 hours, is life draining.
24. Because it would be nice to have some semblance of a life again.
25. Because a day can’t go by without you talking about #gradschoolprobs and it’s all starting to sound like a broken record of the most annoying song you can think of.
26. Because OH MY GOD, LET IT JUST BE OVER ALREADY!