1. When you were little, she automatically played with the Ken doll and was cast as the boy or servant in all of your games. She draped a dish towel over her arm and played the butler while you ruled as queen every single time. There was no alternative. You stood fast in your rules even when she cried. This is the way things were.
2. You think back on times when you foolishly bullied her because you were a child and had no idea the effect of your words. You internally cringe every time you think of the day you told the entire school bus her biggest secret and her little blond curls shook with anger and embarrassment and she cried with her big brown eyes. She was so little and even though you were only, like, eight, how could you do that to her you monster?! You hate yourself in that moment and you wish you could take it back even after all these years.
3. There is no one on earth more beautiful than your baby sister. You watched her grow from a darling baby, to a pipsqueak grade-schooler. You suffered with her through her awkward phase, very seriously considered beating up sixth graders for teasing her about her acne and taught her how to apply a good concealer. You watched as she blossomed into a woman who turns heads and who could, obviously, work as a model if she wanted to. You simultaneously become protective when men hit on your sister while also thinking “well…DUH.” You shine with pride as you show her picture to friends and coworkers and smile on the rare occasion someone says you look alike. Throughout the years, it really never mattered what she looked like, she has always been beautiful to you.
4. If she plays sports, she is the best. She is a warrior goddess and takes no prisoners. You cheer her on and wonder how she got to be so bad ass.
5. She is the smartest girl in the world. She can do anything and be anyone if she sets her mind to it. Study all night for that test, sister, you’ve got this! Of course you got an ‘A’ on that final, you’re the most brilliant woman to ever live.
6. You know what it is like to experience pain, to be betrayed and have your heart broken. You know all too well that life can be hard. You never want her to experience this kind of heartache and do everything in your power to protect her. You provide endless advice; warn her of the mean girls, of boys who will stomp her heart. Even with this, she will experience the hurtful parts of life, and when she comes to you and crying you want to bear the pain for her, take it on because you’ve had it before. You hug her, and make her laugh and are glad you walked before her. Maybe because of this your words will make it hurt less.
7. You love hearing about every detail of her life. You take her to dinner and let her talk while you lean in and nod with a stupid grin on your face. Drama? Love it. Funny stories? Literally the most hilarious thing you’ve ever heard. Boy problems? BYE LOSER. This is your favorite thing on earth to do and please tell me more, tell me everything! You get a strange feeling of familiarity and realize you are mirroring the way your parents have looked at you all of your life. This mixed emotion of love and incredible pride- there she is, so smart and wonderful, doing the damn thing. You can’t wait to hear all about it.
8. When did she get so cool? How is she so calm and collected? Did you miss out on these cool lessons she clearly attended? Can she offer you some of these lessons?
9. You are the goofiest with her. She witnessed your painfully weird middle school years; she is well acquainted with your brand of strange and laughs with you until you both cry. Or rolls her eyes, it depends on the mood. When you’re reunited after time apart you both get giddy and giggly and although you may sometimes, UGH, embarrass her, the two of you are always laughing.
10. Please, by all means, if you want to turn me into a heaving, raging, hulk capable of homicide, talk shit about my little sister. The sweetest, most reserved woman on the planet will immediately be transformed by doing her little sister wrong. This is a danger zone from which the offender will most likely never return.
11. She is brutally honest. If your outfit isn’t right, your friends might not admit it but a little sister straight up says, “Ew, NO.” Dang, girl, tell me how you really feel. She has known you too long to spare your feelings. If an outfit is straight up hootchie, she will tell you, but you might wear it anyway because you have been hitting the gym really hard and just let me do it, ok? Ok.
12. Speaking of outfits, the convenient fact that you share DNA makes for a good chance that the two of you will be the same size, or close enough. When she is little and mom still dresses her, this tid-bit doesn’t mean a thing, but you will cash in on this hard as soon as she grows up and gets an awesome sense of style. Can I borrow this dress tonight? Thanks sis love you byeeeeeeee.
13. You may have, allegedly, bought her booze when she was underage. This booze was only bought after making her swear ten times that she would be safe and call you if she needed you and you would come pick her up no matter what the time. She may have cashed in on this offer once or twice. You may have also, allegedly, drank said booze together as she got older and became super fun to party with.
14. The thought of her wedding day immediately causes you to get verklempt. She may not even have a boyfriend right now and you are being ridiculous, but it doesn’t matter, just the THOUGHT! That’s your baby walking down the aisle.
15. Eventually, you realize your little sister has grown up. The one you watched over all your life becomes the person you call when you feel down. She offers words of advice that leave you wondering, “What the hell, when did you get so wise?” A little part of you hopes that maybe you had a something to do with it. Either way, you are thankful for whatever it was that made her so awesome, because your little sis is the best friend you’ve ever had.