Thought Catalog

36 People Reveal The One Baby Name That Makes Them Want To Punch Someone’s Face

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Oh wow, I didn’t realize people get angry over names! Read some more on this Reddit thread. Don’t go punching people in the face, though. That might be illegal.
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1. Heaven is a place on Earth

Nevaeh. Yes I understand it is heaven spelled backwards, and no I dont give a fuck.

2. It looks cute

Anything spelled irregularly for no reason… Ex: Eryka..

3. What

My friends named their sons Atreyu Vonn Royal and Pharroh Zorran Sphere. I call them both Steve in protest.

4. I’m Special!

Special

I shit you not.

5. Princess Johnson, is there a Princess Johnson present?

Princess. Seriously, what in the fuck. I don’t understand how anybody could think that princess is a good name.

6. #Baby

I heard a story a few months ago that parents named their baby girl “Hashtag.”

Fuck that.

7. Stop this now

I once knew of a goth girl who had a shit ton of tattoo’s and did the whole black boots and spiked belts, and she had a shit ton of piercings and shit. She named her kid Chaos.

8. It exudes douche

Anything ending in -den. Braden, Kayden, Jayden, fucking-punch-you-in-the-faceden.

9. The future looks grim

I think in the future I’ll be the weird parent because I named my son Steve or John or something while all their schoolmates are named Whatter or Konfidenze.

10. Where are they now?

I know twins named Elite and Alpha.

No, really.

11. He went there

North West

12. R-evolver

My mom’s cousin named her son Evol. As in ‘love’ backwards. He’ll despise her forever.

13. Not LARP?

I knew a dude named Yarp. It was Pray spelled backwards.

14. GTFO here, seriously?

I swear to God I heard a woman yell out at her little boy at the park one time, “Spatula! Get back over here!”

Also, my MIL is a pediatric nurse and a few years ago had a 6 month old baby girl as her patient named “VaGina”. But it’s okay because the G is capitalized and it’s pronounced “Vah-GEE-nah”.

15. Actually, he is

L’Carpetron Dookmarriot – hell of a football player though.

16. I’m tickled pink

Lady who works at Sams by my house is named Lasagna. I did a double take and she got pissed. YOUR NAME IS LASAGNA, HOW IS THAT MY FAULT?

17. The universe is their oyster

Galaxy.
And I just feel so bad for the child because there are only two professions she can have with that name: Astronomer or Prostitute.

18. Almost as good as Sharkeesha

Shequilya. Per the mother, it was pronounced she-kill-ya.

19. She’ll hear that joke for ages

I went to camp with a girl whose name was Unique. She was cool, but I just know she’ll have a life full of comments like “Well, at least your name is unique, hahahahahaHAHAHRHRHRHHRHHR”

20. I had a terrible experience with Sambuca

Sambuca. Just… Just don’t.

21. Holy shit

Holy Angel. A guy my dad worked with in India called his first born daughter this. He was a Christian and wanted something western sounding.

His second daughter was called Alien.

22. That explanation tho

Just recently I overheard a man telling a couple that his daughter’s name was Ily (eye-lee). He proceeded to tell the couple that she was named after the text acronym ily for “I Love You”….

23. People, just stop

I know some girl who’s name is Heaven and her middle name is Ly. Heaven Ly

24. Say what?

I walk in the courts and have to issue claims all day, so I see a whole assortment of names there, but there was one that really stuck out to me. Her name was Comfort.

25. Frequently misspelled words

There’s one in our community named Dutchess. What a fucktard for misspelling Duchess.

26. Like Brandibelle

Anything where the parent squished two names together. “Oh but both names were so pretty we couldn’t choose.”

27. Heroines, they were not

My stupid (former) friend had a baby with a fellow heroin addict, whom they named Kilo (yup.) This guy then had another baby with a chick and they named the little girl Aristotle.

A form of measurement, mostly used in reference to large amounts of drugs in my country (US) and a male philosopher for a girl. Good thing they are now both being raised by their grandmas as they were sired by heroin addicts who have quickly forgotten they ever had kids.

28. So many questions

Rainbow. Holly Madison’s baby. Seriously, why?

29. Not you Germans too!

I live in a German-speaking country and sincerely feel bad for kids living with names like Ashley-Sharmaine Fritzberger , Aaliyah-Phoebe Müllermeierich or Caydence-Melody Pfefferhausen. Poor, poor kids.

30. This is a name???

I don’t even care that max one person will see this. Someone needs to know about Sha-purple.

31. I don’t know anymore

Jru. Pronounced Drew. Guy wants his kids names to start withs J. When I told him he was a jackass he was offended.

32. Are people unable to Google?

Ex friend named her son Arrien. She was aiming for Aryan. His middle name is Nat, short for Nation. I am not making it up, and it’s most of the reason she and I are no longer friends.

33. This made me laugh, like, a lot

Tylor. What the fuck?

34. Wrecked it

Airwrecka.. Pronounced Erica.

35. God, I feel dumb

A guy I used to know named his baby boy Jupiter. The baby had just been born, so every time I saw him, I felt like I needed to ask him how Jupiter was. I felt like an idiot. I hope he did, too.

36. She shed her name pretty quick

I went to school with this ginormous girl. She wore combat boots and thick black eyeliner. Bet her parents weren’t expecting her to be 6 foot fucking 6 when they named her Tinkerbell. TC mark

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  • princessy1022

    Reblogged this on Northeast x Midwest and commented:
    ….AAAAAND I happen to be #5 -_-

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    Have a good laugh HAHAAHHA

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