“Everything is gonna change,” you would whisper at night, staring up at the stars, passing a single bottle between you. “I know,” they would reply. And you knew, just knew,…

Some idiot once told you that it was good for your plants if you put your butts into the soil, and you want a cigarette bad enough to retrieve even…

Rule number one: Never believe anything anyone tells you in bed. Beds are safe spaces where lies take root and grow, grow, grow all the way to the ceiling until,…

You can make all of the “right” decisions and sound awesome to your parents’ judgy friends at dinner parties, or you can do what you really want and succeed or…

Your Snuggie isn’t built for two.

The most popular frustration triggers consist of a multi-pronged attack of petty annoyances in a short time-frame, your overbearing mother taking one too many jabs at your emotional psyche on…

Completing a form on the internet without missing a required field, on the first attempt.

Screw the friendship and just go for it. If you’re developing strong feelings for a friend, you’re probably in constant misery. Think about it. Realistically, can you do this forever?…

Is it your birthday? Are you upset because you’re spending it without your loved ones? Sad that you’re getting older?

Doc Hudson from Cars: Older guy. Not married. Named after Rock Hudson. Obsessed with Owen Wilson. You do the gay math.

They refuse to communicate what is wrong, any time that something is wrong, until whatever was wrong blows up five months later into something that is much worse than the…

This plane keeps us all together, and as these chattering Chinese fly us to Jakarta I am wishing you could be who you were. I show you how to fill…

Don’t spend too much time on Instagram trying to decide if Hudson or Amaro is the more aesthetically pleasing effect on your picture.

If you watched Rocko’s Modern Life as a child, I’m certain you were too youthful and naïve to fully appreciate the adult jokes and innuendo that the cartoon was chock-full…

Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be…

It’s an undeniable trope in modern humor to have the woman be a perfectly normal, capable member of society — right up until she’s PMSing, at which point she becomes…

“Look into my eye.”

Whether you’re a cross-country drive or a trans-atlantic flight from home, that first moment when you pause where you are, take a deep breath and open your eyes to an…

If you interact in any way on Tumblr, you obviously need to have sex. But then again everyone on Tumblr just needs to have sex with each other. Just a…

However, I have just showered and realized that my bangs are SO short, that after rinsing all my hair back and stepping out of the shower, the bangs stick straight…

But beyond just making the waiter’s life miserable for the hour or so spent in the restaurant, this person clearly holds service jobs in general in extremely low esteem –…

When you’re in a relationship, often times it seems that everybody wants you. Of course as soon as you’re single nobody even glances in your direction, making you remorseful that…

But it’s not for us, darling, it never was. I don’t believe in a higher meaning, nor do I need a purpose to live for. I believe in us, in…

One thing you don’t realize in your twenties is that anything is possible. It sounds trite but it’s true. This is your moment.

But then… you think of something. Something you read on a website once. A promise of a topic so fertile, so rich with conversational opportunities that it can save any…

Something shifted and all of a sudden there were no more potential + 1’s. It’s been two years now and I feel like I’m experiencing some kind of amnesia. I’m…

Because it doesn’t matter how interesting, sexy or good in bed they are if they don’t treat you well or make you hate yourself.

For those of you who are confused by this phenomenon, allow me to outline the different kinds of best friends that exist here in Lady Town (a new city I…

I happen to actually be from the “Jersey Shore,” and as you already can tell, I am a total sweetheart and absolutely worth getting to know (HA, get in line).…

The base of this false movement is “identity.” You’ve probably heard the term “identity politics” used to refer to people who believe that identity colors one’s experiences, and this idea…

Charles Darwin married his cousin. They had ten children. Albert Einstein married his cousin too. So did Jesse James and H.G Wells. And the list goes on and on –…

You’re alone all the time. At first it’s unbearable and agonizing and physically painful, the sense that you no matter what you do, you will do it in solitude.

There is absolutely no excuse for ignorance, apathy, insensitivity, and callousness about women who struggle with body image; eating disorders are an issue that affects us all.

They make you constantly feel like you have no genitalia, like you aren’t a sexual being. One dismissive glance or thoughtless comment chops your privates off and sends it to…

Thank you for arguing with me. You taught me the correct way to disagree, as well as the incorrect way.

But that shaved-headed girl is always inside, looking out, knowing that our identity is a haircut away from being taken.

You will fall in love with someone for one night and one only. They’ll come to you when you need them and be gone in the morning when you don’t.

If I have overcome anything in life brought on by my culture, it would be the stereotypes waiting for me to prove I am a failure. When taking standardized tests…

Panic attacks send adrenaline all over your body. When I have one, my heart races and my hands shake like someone’s doing brain surgery on me while I’m awake. The…

After all, that’s what’s oddly inspiring about Fred Durst’s lyrics — you could have written them, but you didn’t. It’s like patting yourself on the back for not crapping your…

Be young. Be so young. Be born in 1996. Do you even know what that means? Do you even know what people who were born in the ’80s think of…

Waterproof Cell Phones. Throwing friends into the pool is a lost art, do you know why that is? Well you can ask Siri, but my guess is that nobody wants…

Your internet history will be in a really #dark place. Besides having Google searches such as, “What does it sound like when doves cry?” and “Voodoo love spells for the…

I’ve also dated my fair share of dudes, so I’m not suggesting I catch up for years of lost time here, or even participate in an entire pre-boyfriend do-over. I’m…

Some people aren’t good at doing sports or have trouble understanding how to do math. Maybe this is my weak spot. Maybe I just legitimately don’t know how to be…

In New York, everyone’s always crying about not having any money but it’s like, just move to Kansas City, Missouri, and live like a king if you hate it here…

At the park on a weekend, one sees so many hardbodies you’d think you accidentally stepped into a fitness magazine’s photo shoot. Abs jog along the concreted and graveled paths.…

If you’re a person who still finds themselves 60% drunker than everyone else in the room, I encourage you to look deep within and admit to yourself that getting cray…

Kiss them like it’s going to be hung on someone’s wall someday, as a reminder of what love can be like.

A Tuesday kind of love is this: commuting to work knowing that someone cares about what you’re going to have for lunch; understanding that you do not have to be…