1. We Exist!
Sometimes even I forget.
2. We say “Washroom”.
Many Canadians refer to the bathroom as the washroom. It remains unique to Canada but it’s pretty straightforward. It’s a room where you wash. Hopefully.
3. We will remove our shoes before entering your home.
If it weren’t for television, I would have never known Americans did not remove their shoes before entering a house/apartment. Canada isn’t the only country that does this, but it is the only country Norm Macdonald is from that does this. This is my way of telling you that Norm Macdonald was born in Canada.
4. Norm Macdonald was born in Canada.
Norm Macdonald was born in Canada.
5. We call a “semi-truck” a “transport”.
You know semi-trucks? We call them transports because they transport goods. We are very literal when naming people/places/things. For instance, city buses are known as “travelling B.O chambers”.
6. We can spell poorly and get away with it.
Us Canadians (and the English!) are known for our alternative spelling and frequent use of the letter U. Example: “My favourite colour is Ourange.” Kidding, we don’t spell Orange that way, but how would you know? I love blaming my many typos on the fact that I’m Canadian. Forget the extra “R” in “embarrass”? That’s because it’s the Canadian spelling. You can Google it! Oh, you just did? *jumps on a horse and heads into the sunset*
7. We don’t hear our accent.
Not all Canadians have a noticeable accent, but you can bet that those who do are either completely unaware or in denial. I didn’t realize I had an accent until someone from Apple support told me. I’m the first to spot it in others but seldom hear it when I speak. It’s sort of like the bell from The Polar Express, except entirely different.
8. We drink from a “Mickey”.
Canadians call a small (375ml) bottle of alcohol a “Mickey.” The term is most commonly used among underage drinkers who pour their “Mickeys” into empty water bottles to discretely drink during high school games. Canadians are constantly looking for creative ways to drink during the day and also recycle.
9. Eh is not used how you think it is.
It’s true. We say “Eh.” However, I’ve never heard the expression just slapped in a sentence before. Impressions of Canadians usually sound something like, “I love hunting deer, eh! Let’s go hunting.” No. No one just says “Eh” unless it’s in question form. Not that we actually need you to answer, it’s just to say, “I’m sure you can agree.” For instance: “I’m rambling on about this point now, eh?” to which you may respond, “Yes. Yes you are.”
10. Americans love filming here for cheap.
Film a movie in Canada that’s set in NYC? Can you even pull that off? You can and people do. I was a background actor for a movie that was filmed outside my hometown’s museum. The setting was NYC’s Upper West Side. For a total cost of one Werther’s Original and some pocket lint you can film here and say it’s New York. Thank you, Canada!
11. We get very excited when Americans know places that aren’t major cities.
I can honestly say I’m impressed when small towns are recognized in major movies. Did Naomi Watts just say she was from Deep River, Ontario in the film Mulholland Drive? Forget the David Lynch surrealism, this is the most shocking scene in the entire film. From what I know, Deep River has a population of 2 moose and a hitchhiker who gave up trying. That was completely false and offensive. I apologize. Which leads me to my last point.
12. We aren’t always that nice.
I will admit, many Canadians fit the stereotype: Kind, polite and non-confrontational. However, there are many who not only don’t fit this mould, but will also scare the living shit out of you. Examples include: Intense sports fans, angry drivers, selective members of my family and the Grizzly Bear.