Wine > vodka.

I wake up with a hot knife searing my jaw apart.

Wake up, Dorothy. We’re not in junior high anymore.

Finish your drink every time Taissa Farmiga’s character murders a boy with her vagina.

I have always liked P!nk best when she is pissed off and angry at the patriarchy.

“It’s okay, I’m a MILF, I can do whatever I want.”

I worked in a steak restaurant and my co worker lost her ID at the bar next door one night after work, one week later a girl came in and…

2013 was the year of the “selfie.” It’s official now. Time magazine always picks the person of the year. And the publishers of the Oxford Dictionary, well, they get to…

Sometimes when you’re having a bad day, a perfect playlist will turn your entire day around.

DO YOU CONSTANTLY FIND YOURSELF DELETING THINGS THAT NOBODY “LIKED” OR “RETWEETED” OR “FAVORITED” BECAUSE YOU FEEL LAME AND STUPID?

“People’s memories are maybe the fuel they burn to stay alive.”

That one stupid thing you said two years ago that has somehow become your favorite subject with which to torture yourself while trying to fall asleep. No one remembers it…

Have you ever wondered about what it’s like to live in a place other than where you are?

We all seem to agree that young women are embracing hookup culture as fervently as their male peers. But according to a recent study led by the Kinsey Institute’s Dr.…

Mariah liked to envelop herself in white silk lingerie in her white silk sheets and bedspread.

If you look down your nose on this last-minute solution simply because it contains the word “toilet,” you are ruining your whole life.

1. Money: I will admit that having a “real world” job is cool in the sense that you don’t need to cross your fingers and hold your breath when the…

1. Have a roommate you love.

2. At least five of your friends have surnames that end with the suffix “-eaux.” Many of them have surnames that the untrained eye can’t pronounce correctly.

4. Always have at least 3-5 places ready to go if asked to recommend a place for brunch.

I’ve always mulled over its ethicality and it recently hit me that I may just be missing the point entirely. Because the point isn’t what you find when you snoop;…

Do you use porn?

1. Always (ALWAYS) have plans in the back of your mind:

There are certain relationships that are meant to dissolve into the time-space continuum behind you, and you should absolutely not feel bad about that.

Their first violation of the social contract was in emerging from the womb, thereby increasing cumulative global repulsiveness, a new wart on the face of humanity, one more unwanted animal.…

3. We’re all alcoholics.

When inviting a Minnesotan over for dinner, it’s common practice for them to refuse twice, to test out whether you are “just being nice” or are genuinely interested in their…

So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about as numb as…

“I can’t keep referring to basketball players as Khloe Kardashian’s husband and his friends.”

There’s good self-consciousness, and then there’s toxic, paralyzing, raped-by-psychic-Bedouins self-consciousness.

Holy crap.

Girl what’s the tea?